Chapter 1 - Where does Timetraveling take you?

A little piece on time-traveling for you...

The "what if..?" 

Enjoy reading and dreaming :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Where does Timetraveling take you? 

Time. We are running out of it mostly. We don’t have much time, miss spending time with a loved one. Maybe at some stage in our life we even wished to turn back time. I certainly did too. About two times a week sometimes. But if you come to think about it, would it truly help? Turning back time for a few hours, a few days, maybe years? What would it do, what would it change? What would YOU change? Would it be possible to change your life to the better?

If you ever got the chance to turn back time, would you take advantage and do something good with it? Of course I know it is impossible, we can’t influence time. Time, the fourth dimension. But what if…? Would you try and re-live a certain wonderful moment? Maybe avoid doing a mistake?

But what happens if you are only driven by revenge? I definitely was. As the saying goes: Revenge is a dish best served cold. Well, in my case I was going to serve it hot, real hot.

Well… before everything got a little out of hand…

Chapter 1

Walking along the large white corridors of an enormous concert hall in Hamburg, I rearranged my blouse and skirt. I had chosen my clothes wisely today, hoping for the expected effect on my husband.

It was the last concert of this year’s tour and I was really looking forward to our vacation. Thanks to Gemmy, the cloakroom attendant, Riku’s bags would be packed already and I didn’t have to fuss around with all his dirty socks and the shirts he never managed to fold properly. His departure only three months ago had been enough for me already and after trying to give him a hand and him of course getting into a huff right away, I had given up like every year. He wasn’t able to arrange is stuff and pack suitably but he was too proud to admit it, even though we had been together for almost three years by now, even married for a year, and I knew him inside out. So like every time I let him finish, shutting my mouth and trying hard not to laugh when I heard the laundry machine at five in the morning because he had again forgotten to wash his two favourite pairs of jeans.

Still walking under the bright light of the disgusting neon tubes, I took out my mobile. The concert had ended only 25 minutes ago but instead of rushing to the hotel right away, the boys had decided to get their cars packed and parked right behind the hall to make their separate exits for the upcoming vacations.

A few minutes ago Riku had texted me to tell me that they would now have a shower and get dressed for a night out at a club. Inwardly sighing, I nodded at some people that were passing by. Always the same. The lads would never grow out of their celebration party after the last concert. Most probably I would be driving and taking care of everything tomorrow because Riku would be sick and whiny for the whole journey to his parents. Well, it had been his idea to take a ship to Finland, not mine.

Walking around the last corner, I heard music at the end of the corridor. Most probably they had started a shower party. A small smile crept over my face. Sometimes they were really cute.

I was about to open the door to the dressing-room, when it was suddenly yanked open and Samu popped his head outside, a bottle of beer in his right hand, a girl in his left. Quickly I tried to remember her name. He had been seeing her for a couple of weeks now, maybe she would last for the vacation. “Tammy, hey!” I nodded at her when I had finally remembered after a few seconds. “How’s life?”

She smiled back at me. “Well so far…” grinning up at Haber she raised her own bottle of beer.

Samu put a cigarette between his lips, stopping halfway when he was about to lighten it. His eyebrows furrowed and his grin grew wider. “Now look at that!” his gaze travelled over me again and it wasn’t the first time that I felt like he was mentally undressing me. “Hello you two’s.  Is it a little cold out there, sweetpie?”

With a low harrumph I nudged him with my elbow as I passed by, his chuckling following me until the door closed behind him and… Tammy, damn it! Tammy.

Breathing a sigh of relieve, I gave Raul a hug. “Still inside?” I nodded at the showers, making Raul nod and giving me a smile.

“Have you seen Juliane?” he asked, quickly buttoning up his shirt.

I shook my head no, checking my mobile. “She’ll be here in any minute.” I assured, straightening his shirt around the shoulders. “Where’s the rest?”

“SAMI took off, he is picking some friends up for tonight, Osmo’s outside on the phone.”

“Rutuu was first to finish his shower?” I whistled through my teeth in surprise. “Normally he and Riku are boiling their backs together.”

“Well, one of the two sausages for boiling obviously didn’t have time for that today.” Giving me a little grin, Raul offered a bottle of local beer to me. “Have one, I really wanna leave this place asap, it is depressing!”

He was right. I threw a look around. Even though the room was quite nice and comfortable, it was in the basement and there were no windows. “The club you picked should have a nicer view.” I sipped my beer, making him grin.

“37^th floor, it better should!” he grabbed his jacket, quickly kissing my cheek. “Gonna check on Juliane, see you in a few!”

Left alone in the dressing room, I sat down on one of the couches, pushing some magazines and wet bath robes aside. Why would they never clean up a little? Only a little! Punks. It took me weeks to get Riku back to picking up his damn socks or sneakers or teabags after a long tour. I was just starting to flick through a few messages on my phone, when I heard the door. It was Samu and giggle-Tammy and I put my feet down from the table, suddenly having the strong urge to rearrange my blouse again. Maybe I should have worn a bra. I had intended to give Riku a little kick tonight, not to be picked up by Samu!

He was still grinning broadly, giving me a wink over his girlfriend’s head. If only he knew! Quickly I lowered my gaze, feeling a slight blush. Actually he had always been my favourite of the band. Unfortunately it had at all times been one of my most prominent characteristic features that I didn’t seem shy or reserved, but inwardly I had been shaking to my very core to finally stand in front of him right before a concert over three years ago. My colleague had managed to get a backstage-pass for me and he had approached me when I had waited in line with some other reporters and photographers. “Elena from…” he had squinted his incredible eyes to read the name on my pass. “Neue Woche Frankfurt?” winking at me, he had beckoned me over. “Lucky you, I got time.” Like a sleepwalker I had followed him to a table, suddenly being seated right in front of the man of my dreams and completely out of words. Luckily Riku had joined us, making my caught up words return. He had been nice and funny and we really got into talking.

Another one of my very own characteristic features: Completely speechless in front of a man I am attracted to, totally fine with a guy that is not my type, even if he is a rockstar. To my surprise they invited me to party with them and even allowed me to write about it and take some amazing pictures that above it all got me promoted to assistance of the management of my department.

Riku and I exchanged phone numbers. We stayed in contact, even met again. I liked him but I could never help blushing like a teenager when Haber suddenly turned up. His jokes made me laugh and flush every time and I was out of words whenever I was close to him. Riku on the other hand was smart and fascinating to talk to. We had a lot of interests in common and our talks on the phone kept both of us awake for nights.

Whenever I managed to meet up with the guys during our first year I was again completely taken by Riku and the way we got along as if we had known each other for years. Samu on the other hand kept teasing me. He asked for a dance or bought me a drink to have me for himself from time to time, but it always ended with him making out with a random girl he had met. So after almost two years of loose contact with the lads and frequent phone calls with Riku, I had decided to spend a vacation with them in Finland after their tour of 2011. It came as it was somehow bound to come. And only a year later I had been married to Riku, still thinking about Haber sometimes and the life I could have had by his side. But I did not have illusions about it anymore. He wasn’t the guy to settle down with. He was hot, made me laugh, made me wanna kiss him so many times when we were dancing together or fooling around a little, but in the end he had never chosen me. So I grabbed the bull by its horns and chose what I thought was best for myself. Riku.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Samu approaching, another smirk on his full lips. To my deep relieve, Riku finally exited the showers, throwing a surprised smile at me. “You’re early!” he crossed paths with Samu and quickly he bent down to kiss me.

“You’re late!” I corrected, running my fingers through his wet and tousled hair.

“I’m always worth the wait.” He shot back with a grin, his hand brushing over the thin fabric of my blouse. His smile widened and his lips were parted already when Samu suddenly made a weird noise, laughing.

“Better keep her warm, they have been staring at me intently!” he trumpeted, chuckling when he saw my blush deepen.

“I certainly will.” Riku bent down again, kissing me softly. There was a glint in his eyes, when he sat down on the armrest of the couch without taking his lips from mine. “I’ve missed you.” He whispered close to my mouth his fingertips trailing along the buttons of my blouse from my neck to my belly.

Another noise from Samu was suddenly heard. “Come on, let’s go.” He said abruptly and I saw him pulling Tammy out of the room again. “Now take a few minutes of privacy to rub her nipples warm and soft.”

Riku let out a chuckle and lifted his head from my neck. “Those nipples are mine and they will stay exactly like this for the rest of the night. I’ll personally make sure about that!” Again he lowered his lips. “Now where were we?”

Half an hour later I was sitting next to him in his newly purchased BMW, the latest model of course and I had immediately been told that I was forbidden to drive it, park it and most of all eat in it. As if I cared. My own car was all I needed and I loved the cute Mini Cooper to bits, even though Riku was right, it always was full of junk and crumbs. Leaning back in my comfortable leather seat, I put my hand on Riku’s thigh, watching the lights of the city fly by. “So what d’you think, is it too theoretical?” I asked, picking up our previous conversation about the existence of different periodic elements and inert gases because he had suddenly fallen quiet.

Looking down at me astound, he changed the gear, shrugging. “Maybe.” He answered with his mind obviously still far away. He had been acting differentially for the last hour, somehow making me feel as if he wasn’t there completely even when we had been naked together on the couch in the dressing room just before. “What’s bothering you, love?” softly I ran my hand along his thigh. “Can’t be the Ununoctium, we only decided that it doesn’t exist.” I tried to joke but he didn’t even give me a proper smile.

“Actually I… I wanted to talk to you about something.” His grip around the stirring wheel tightened and I felt the muscles of his thigh tensing under my fingers.

“What’s wrong?” I rubbed the back of his neck. “Are you alright?”

Flashing a look at me, he shrugged again. “Not quit.” He answered evasively, taking a deep breath. “I cheated on you.” He then said quietly, starring outside into the dark night.

For one second I thought I had heard wrongly, misunderstood something, but when I bent over in his direction and he avoided my gaze I all of a sudden knew it for sure. It hit me like a fist in my stomach and all the air escaped my lounges. Without making a single sound, I simply stared at him in disbelieve. “Why?” I managed to ask, suddenly realizing that my hand was still playing with the soft strands of hair on the back of his neck. Instantly I lowered my fingers, clasping the small bag on my lap. “Why?” I asked again, trying hard to remember how to breathe properly.

He looked at me for a second, turning his eyes back at the street. “Commitment issues?” he ask-answered, making me snort and finally wake up from my sudden stiffness.

“Commitment… commitment issues?” raising my eyebrow in disbelief, I bent forward. “You are telling me that you have cheated on me, your wife, the women you have willingly committed to because you have issues committing?”

“It was a while ago.” He stated, shaking his head. “Back then I… I…”

“When?” I interrupted.

“It was… it was… almost two years ago.” He fell silent again, but I didn’t give him a chance to gather himself properly.

“Are you kidding me? Two years that was… Jeez, Riku, that was around the time of our first vacation!” I couldn’t stop my hand from slapping his face even though he was still driving. “Are you seriously telling me that you cheated on me right after we got together? Why? Give me one good reason!”

“Commitment.” He mumbled again, making me snort.

“Yeah, right, Of course! I totally understand!”

“No you don’t!” he suddenly whispered through his gritted teeth. “I’ve known you for years, loved you and waited for you for months and when you were there it… it was perfect and… God!” once more he grabbed the stirring wheel, forcefully changing the gear. “We got together and it was perfect and… and I got scared.”

“But why?” I insisted helplessly. “Why did you…?”

“I was afraid of the commitment! I was scared that I had maybe made the wrong decision.”

“So you simply… you simply fucked another woman.” Disbelievingly shaking my head, I looked up at him again. “You… you proposed to me! God, Riku, we… we were friends, you… you were the best friend I ever had and… of course I agreed to marry you!” still shaking my head I grabbed his arm. “Why did you rush into our marriage then? You weren’t sure about it, why… And also, why are you telling me this? Now, after almost two years?”

He looked at me intently, all of a sudden grabbing my hand that still lay on his arm. “Elena, you… you are my best friend and you are my wife, the love of my life! That’s why I told you now. You deserve honesty. And I swear to you it was a one time event! She… she was one of Samu’s girlfriends back then and it simply happened. You should know that, you deserve to know it.”

“Honesty?” I stared at him completely speechless, trying to free my hand. “You fucking son of a rat, pull over!”

Shocked by my reaction he looked at me and back at the dark street. “This is a highway.” He stated in surprise but I cut him short.

“Pull over right now and stop the car, Riku. I am right now getting out of this car.” Loosening my seatbelt, I grabbed my jacket from the floor. “Pull over!” I yelled at him.

“Jeez, Elena!” soothingly he started to rub my arm. “I had to tell you, you are my wife!”

“Why? Why did you have to tell me?” shaking my head, I felt that I was almost ready to punch him really hard. “I know why. You wanted it off your chest. You wanted to confess and you wanted me to forgive you. It was a burden and you simply didn’t have the strength to carry it alone any longer. Guess what? That is the most egoistic and selfish thing that you have ever done. If you make a complete cock-up, suck it! Take it like a man and don’t make up some stupid bullshit about commitment two years later! You shit the bed, now lie in it!”

“You… you wanted to continue living a lie?” he asked astounded.

“I wanted to continue living our life! Now stop the fucking car and fucking let me get out of it, otherwise…”

Suddenly everything turned into slow motion. I saw Riku’s face, surprised and even enraged by now. Then all of a sudden there was a red light right in front of us and the power of the impact threw him into his seatbelt the second his airbag opened. My seatbelt had been unbuckled already and the consequences occurred to me during that one split second before I hit the windscreen, someway watching it break into a thousand pieces…