Chapter 18 - Lost in the Dark

Chapter 18

When we returned to the main hut, we found a couple of men bridling horses and carrying large sacks of food.

Idun stood between them, impelling a group of slaves to hurry up.

Surprised I let go of Samu’s hand, walking straight up to the short tempered blond woman. “What is this all about?” I asked and she spun around with a sudden smile.

“We ride.” She simply stated, yelling at a girl that didn’t attach a sack of grain properly. “Yorick is in charge and well, thanks to your godly hands, and the rest of us is gonna ride for the Black Castle to back up the Jarl.” She patted my cheek. “Do not worry, we will leave protection for you. Oddgeir is too old for battle, he will stay as well and take care of everything until we return to pick you up along with the rest of us.”

“Are you sure that…” I started, but stopped short at the sight of Yorick, exiting the house. He was pale and had obviously lost weight, but instead of keeping to his bed he walked around the horses with his shirt only slung oddly around half of his body.

“What the fuck!” I mumbled, letting go of Idun to walk after him.

He smiled brightly at me, squinting when the early sun hit his sensitive eyes.

“Seeress.” He bowed joyously but his smile faded, when he saw the anger in my eyes. Instantaneously he grabbed my arm, his eyes scanning the place for Samu.

“Did he hurt you?” he hissed, pulling me even closer.

I shook my head, completely taken by surprise when I felt his hand in mine, all of a sudden gentle.

“Yorick, you …” my words were caught in my throat and I shook my head again to dispel the weird emotions that came over my so suddenly. God, this day felt like an emotional rollercoaster! Lack of sleep, a sudden assault from Samu, the experience of total and utter helplessness, because I had been unable to convince Yorick, another fight with Samu, Matias and my memories, and now all of a sudden Yorick’s hand and his behaviour, completely unexpected and tender.

“Why are you out of bed?” I asked as sternly as I could and he chuckled slightly.

“What would my men think of me?” he gave back in a joking tone, still holding my hand.

Shaking my head in disbelief, I looked up at him. “Let me at least get you bandaged and dressed properly!” I commanded and he took a playful bow.

“Whatever you demand, little Alfur!” dodging a small blow, he chuckled again, letting me guide him back inside without offering resistance.

I wasn’t dealing gently with him, when I grabbed his shirt by the bottom and pulled it over his head. “You, Monsieur, are to stay in bed until you are better!” I ranted lowly, when I pushed him to sit down at the edge of the bed.

Even though he winced for a second, a little chuckle escaped his lips.

“What did you just call me?” he asked, curiously looking up at me when I stood right in front of him with my hands on my hips and my hair in my face.

“I called you an idiot!” I hissed, removing the bandage that had completely slipped out of position. “Well, not literally, but I meant it!”

“Only a seeress as beautiful as you can show such daringly bold behaviour!”

“I still got your dagger and I am bringing it to use!” I warned him earnestly. “If you don’t hold still right now, little Jarl, I will pin you to your bed by your own ear, trust me!”

Starting over to roll up the strip of linen between my fingers, I examined his wound again. It had healed extremely well but the scar would definitely be permanent and hideous on his beautifully shaped upper body.

“Don’t worry.” He said with a grin, mockingly jabbing my hip. “The daughters of Northmen expect scars on their future husbands. I was far too smooth anyway, so you actually did me a favour by cutting me open and stabbing me with red-hot spears.”

The linen sheaf fell from my hands and right at this second I wanted to yell at Yorick and finally also swear like a trooper. Instead I stared into his still grinning face and something inside of me broke down like the barrier of a dike. At first it was only a giggle that escaped my firmly pressed together lips. But only a second later I was convulsed with laughter and lay on the rumpled bed next to Yorick. I couldn’t help it, wasn’t able to stop to even take a breath. Obviously my laughing was contagious, because after the first moment of surprise, Yorick suddenly joined in. Coughing and panting we lay together until I finally managed to get on all fours again, bending over him.

“Sit up, for Christ’s sake!” I gasped, grabbing his healthy arm to put him in an upright position. But instead of helping me, he simply broke down laughing again, covering his face with his hands.

“Good Father Odin, dearest!” he dissolved into stupid giggles once more, trying to brace himself by pressing his lips together. “Why am I laughing? For the love of all Gods, why can’t I stop?”

“You’re hysterical.” I grabbed the bandage from the floor and took hold of his upper arm, trying hard to contain myself. “It is a medical condition and it can only be healed by getting laid.”

Had those filthy and indecorous words just escaped my mouth? For a split-second I grew stiff. Jesus Christ, what was I thinking? Luckily Yorick burst out into broad laughter. After the laughing fit had subsided, he buried his face in his hands again.

“You are killing me, Seeress!” he mumbled and coughed heartily.

“The contrary is the case!” with a lot of effort, I pulled him up from the bed, trying to find the best angle to work from. “I am saving your life and I won’t stop until you decide to live it!”

Narrowing my eyes, I tried to concentrate on his wounded chest, carefully running my fingers over the still swollen skin around the scab. “You were lucky.” Turning his upper body slightly, I trailed along the backside of the wound. I had marked him for life, marked him with a cross almost the size of my hand. It would heal, of course, but it was indeed a cross to bear.

Sighing lowly, I simply remained standing, putting my hand on the torn up flesh that still felt hot on my skin.

Yorick rested his elbows on his knees and after a while I felt his forehead sinking to my belly. He drew a deep breath, giving me a minute to gingerly examine the burned skin and by that arranging the thoughts on my mind.

“What a day.” I whispered after what felt like an eternity, carefully wrapping a lose strand of his long hair around my index finger.

“You did well.” He assured and looked up at me, his hands still placed on both sides of my waist. “Elida, I… I want to thank you.”

“Yorick.” Smiling I shook my head and started to wrap the new bandage around his upper body. “That goes without saying.”

“It doesn’t!” he disagreed, putting his healthy hand on my face. “You are a miracle. In every meaning of the word. I cannot wait to finally settle down on this island. All credit belongs to you. You came to me at the perfect moment. The perfect opportunity to finally convince my father, convince Aevarr and Bestefar Oddgeir. You changed everything for me, for all of us. And now you even claimed my body and soul back from Odin himself to give me the chance to enjoy the rest of my earthy life.” Still caressing my cheek with his thumb, he gave me the most honest smile I had ever received. “You are my miracle, Elida.”

“I didn’t mean to interrupt.” With a grin on her lips and a long coat made of dark fur around her shoulders, Idun suddenly stood in the doorway. “The men are ready.” She nodded at Yorick. “But take your time, looks like you almost got her convinced and talked around into your bed by nearly dying on her.” With that she winked at him and left.

The spell was abruptly broken and I was quick to step back with my heart pounding in my ears.

Being so close to Yorick wasn’t a good idea at all. Suddenly I felt my bad conscious gnawing, looking at the half naked man that still sat on the bed with his elbows on his knees and his head lowered. Maybe Samu had been right after all. I had somehow managed to talk myself out of the attraction I felt, whenever Yorick was close to me. We had been through many extreme situations within such a short amount of time. Of course we somehow had a thing for each other. That’s what I had told me so many times.

Was it more? I flashed another gaze at my patient, my heart almost stopping when my eyes met his. Quickly I looked the other way, turning around to fiddle with one of the blankets that had fallen to the floor.

No, the attraction was only caused by the external circumstances. There was nothing more. He had saved me, he worshiped me. And now I had spent days saving his life, of course there was a connection. But that didn’t mean…

Of course it didn’t, I was about to leave, I didn’t have a future here, but a life to return to…

Well…

God, I needed a moment for myself, think, re-arrange my thoughts.

Stepping over to the window, I drew the pelts away and held my face into the bright sun. To be very honest, I didn’t have a lot to return to. My mother had died when I had only been a child of seven, some dreadful bone-sickness eating her away within a few months. My father had never gotten over losing her. He had been withdrawn and somehow managed to bring up me and Matias without ever being close to us, holding both of us at arms-length. The bond between me and my brother had grown extremely strong during the following years and I knew that his death had been the hardest turning point of my young life. Alvar was once more unable to take the pain and all he could do was abandoning me as well. And ever since I had been fending for myself. Since the young age of sixteen.

Sighing I rubbed my face. But now, if we actually managed to flee, I had Samu by my side. We had only stumbled upon each other here, but my feelings towards him were real. I had always day-dreamed about him, the famous singer. But in this place I had seen every facet of him. His strength and love, braveness and fear, his deepest darks and the warmest and most loving parts of his soul. 

And I loved him for every tiny piece of his personality I had become acquainted with.

Turning around again, I looked at Yorick. Rough mannered but kind. Hard-handed, maybe even cruel at times but nevertheless honest and compassionate.

And, if I was completely honest with myself: The safer choice.

Surprisingly it seemed true, whichever way I looked at it, I was more scared of leaving with Samu than I was about staying here and accepting my fate. I kneaded my fingers agitatedly. Life had never been kind to me and I was by now scared that maybe after our return Samu would simply go back to his own life, his old self, and I would be alone again. Quickly I grabbed one of the mugs that stood around, emptying the water that was inside.

In this world I had meaning and purpose. Back home I had studies to finance, a hard job as a tour guide and bills to pay.

Pressing the palms of my hands to my eyes, I rested my back against the window sill.

But wasn’t it worth a try? Maybe Samu wouldn’t change, he seemed so earnest and completely serious. And one of his arguments was outstandingly right: I was always in danger if I stayed here. What if I got sick? What if I died during childbirth? What if Yorick died in battle?

Again I flashed a gaze at him. He hadn’t moved, simply sat on the bed, staring down at his naked feet. From the way he avoided looking at me and kept still, I could tell that Idun with her blunt manners might have hit the bull’s eye. His silence was telling.

He could have laughed it away, joked about it. But instead he had fallen completely silent.

Absent-mindedly staring at him, I realized why it seemed to be so very tempting for me to stay with him: I simply was a total chicken shit. If I stayed here, all I could do was blame fate for it. Blame God, Odin, the fog, whomever. If I left and took matters in my own hands I was at the potential risk of losing Samu, the risk of us not working out. If I stayed then my life would be clear. Predictable. Foreseeable even. It was taken from me, taken out of my hands and the sudden chance to hand over every responsibility was extremely tempting.

“Elida?”

I was startled when Yorick unexpectedly touched my arm. Fighting with his shirt, he nodded towards the entrance. “We should go down and say our goodbyes.”

Quickly I helped him, closing a few small cords around his neck without looking at him properly. Then I nodded. I definitely needed fresh air.

Chapter 17 - Lost in the Dark

Chapter 17

My God, she is even more beautiful, when she’s angry! Riku thought, but wisely chose not to give tongue to his thoughts whilst Raul was lying by his side, nervously kneading his fingers.

Elida and Samu had been out on the small clearing for almost an hour. Raul had taken the last watch of the night, waking Riku to tell him that Samu suddenly sat in the woods all by himself, hugging his knees and shaking to and fro like a mad person. But the dawn was breaking and made it impossible for the rest of them to get any closer to their friend without being spotted.

“She has lowered the dagger now.” Riku whispered, breathing a sigh of relief. Whatever had happened between the two of them, Elida seemed furious. She was a mess and Riku had never seen a woman radiating so much power and rage, despite her tired eyes.

Still looking at her, Riku had to supress the sudden urge to run to her and take her away from this godforsaken place. Quickly he shook his head. Soon they would all leave together and hopefully find their way back through the woods and the fog. Back home, the modern era, the actual and factual present.

He and Sami had found the perfect hidden path back to the place where the weird fog seemed to have its wellspring – if that was the right word for the deep crate only about two miles from their current hiding place. The white nothing seemed to cover the landscape completely, originating from small fissures and joints in the rocks around. It had given both of them the creeps to watch it. Even though Riku would never admit it, he had felt as if the fog had suddenly approached them in slow waves but it had retreated as soon as he had stepped back. Whatever it was, it seemed to know darn well that he and his friends didn’t belong to this place and it would bring them away and hopefully spit them out in their own time and place again.

His hackles still rose at the thought of the swirling and wafting of the misty curtains.

“Alright, looks like they made up.” Raul suddenly interrupted his thoughts rudely, handing the binoculars back to his friend. “We will keep an eye on them at all times.”

Riku nodded absent-minded, watching Samu hug Elida. Through the binoculars he saw tears running down her cheeks and within a few seconds all her strength seemed to fall from her and she sank into Samu’s arms. Her shoulders were shaking and her face buried to his chest. When Riku looked at Samu, he saw his friend gritting his teeth, talking and whispering in her hair.

“Come on, mate!” Raul nudged him softly. “Let’s have some breakfast and try to stick it out for another day. Samu will send us a message as soon as he has set up a plan.”

“Wait!” Riku held Raul back, still watching Elida and Samu. The young woman had taken a step back, nodding at Samu, the dagger still in her hand. Slowly she nodded again, walking around the old oak tree before she put the knife point at the coarse wooden bark. Quite skilfully she carved something into the tree. Impatiently Riku waited for her to step back, feeling an excited shudder at the sight of a number. It was a 2. Maybe this meant two more days?

Samu next to Elida threw a look around, taking a small bough. He hunkered down on the ground in front of the roots of the oak.

When he got up again, he threw another look around before he put his arm around Elida’s shoulders. Together they made their way through the bushes and back to the village.

“Two days.” Riku handed the binoculars over to Raul. “I will check the place, maybe Samu left a few words to explain the plan.”

“Be careful!” Raul warned, throwing haunted gazes around.

Chapter 16 - Lost in the Dark

Chapter 16

A mug with warm Ale was suddenly handed over to me and to my surprise I found Samu, wrapping a blanket around my shoulders. Yorick’s state had worsened. Whatever I did or tried, nothing seemed to work and I was by now dead tired and had lost track of time completely.

Samu’s hand was on my neck. “It has been two days, Elida!” he whispered considerate but concerned.

Looking up at him with my hair in my face and my fingers clutched around Yorick’s wrist, I suddenly felt like waking up from a bad dream. I had not really slept or eaten for a time that was too long to remain sane for much longer. Slowly I let go of my patient’s arm and rubbed my face. I would lose him. Lose him because I wasn’t strong enough, not trying hard enough. He would slip through my fingers like my older brother. And I would never be able to forgive me.

Almost slumping down again when I tried to get up from the sickbed, I felt Samu’s arms under my armpits. He helped me back on my feet and picked me up when my stiff limbs weren’t carrying the weight of my body.

Downstairs he simply placed me close to the big fire in the middle of the room and yelled at one of the slaves to bring Mead and food for me. To my surprise the woman handed me a bowl of delicious stew that contained fresh venison. Samu sat down next to me on the floor, sipping his own mug of sweet Mead with a grin. “We went hunting.” He simply stated, giving me another cheeky grin. “I’m not that bad at it surprisingly.”

Then he suddenly fell silent again, staring into the flames. “You scared me.” He stated after a few minutes of silence without looking at me. “How long are you gonna try and rescue him? He’s been down with fever for two days, his screams keeping the whole house awake at night.”

“So now you are also telling me to let him die?” I snapped at him with my mouth still full of cabbage.

“What I am telling you,” he bent over in my direction. “Is that you are my responsibility and that we might not even have three days to go through with our plan before someone will try and remove your loop and kill you in the process.” He stated drily and shrugged. “But please, be my guest and play the nurse for your beloved dying warrior. I’m afraid if he was alive and well, he’d only be one of the spectators of your surgical intervention, conducted by a crazy old and almost blind shaman.”

His words were like a slap on the head and I stared at him, totally overtired and dumbfounded. Holding my stare, he gritted his teeth.

“I didn’t think so.” He growled and nodded at my bowl. “Eat up, You’ll get some rest and I will watch over your Viking-sweetheart.” To stop me from arguing right away, he raised his hands. “Or I will bring you a mattress and put it down on the floor of the sickroom. You will right now get some rest!”

A word and a blow. Not more than ten minutes later, I got undressed in front of the fire and washed my over fatigued body, before I let one of the serfs help me into a fresh linen underdress. Samu had indeed brought our own mattress and put it on the floor. Standing by the window, he watched me getting dressed and urged me over to my new sleeping place.

“Sleep, Elida!” he whispered, sitting down next to me with his back rested against the wall.

And so I did, my mind still completely occupied and unable to let go of Yorick until I finally slumbered away with Samu’s hand tenderly placed on top of the troubled thoughts in my head.

I awoke in the middle of the night, finding the place next to me empty. Sitting up right away, I felt my heart racing in my chest. Was Yorick still alive? My memories had been haunting me for the past few days and I felt my heart burning at the mere thought of losing him.

Feeling my way through the halflight of the room, I sat down on the bed next to Yorick, checking his pulse and temperature. To my surprise there was no heat, no sweat and for the first time since he had returned, he was breathing calm and steadily. Breathing a sigh of relief myself, I lay down next to him, resting my face to his arm. Maybe I had succeeded and he was indeed over the worst. Yawning deeply I wrapped my arm around his chest in a protective manner. Not on my watch! Not again. Gigantically relieved I dozed off, starting up from my light sleep when I heard steps approaching the bed. Shaking off my reoccurring nightmares, I sat up, finding Samu in the first light of day that shone through the small gap between the two pelts that covered the window. He had his arms folded over his chest, looking down at me with a strange expression.

“So.” He said, sounding even more tensed. “Comfortable?”

Wrapping the blanked around my patient, I put my feet to the ground, rubbing my eyes. “I think he’s out of the woods.” I whispered because I didn’t know what else to say. What was wrong with Samu these days? Even without knowing the whole story he should at least realize that saving Yorick was immensely important! He was the one that had assured our safety, the first one to believe in our importance and if he died, maybe the rest of them would soon turn against us. Didn’t he see that or was I simply a little thin-skinned because of my sleep deficiency? Maybe I needed to tell him about Matias, he’d surely understand that I had to soldier on, regardless of the consequences, relentlessly focused on one goal: keeping this man alive in the stead of the brother I had lost.

“What’s bitten you?” I asked lowly, getting up from the bed and walking over to the place near the open fire, where he had bent down, putting a few logs in the dying embers. His head spun around and the gaze of his beautiful eyes shot daggers at me.

“Me?” he hissed back, getting up from the floor with his hands buried in his hair. “Seriously?”

Completely taken aback, I returned his stare. “What are you talking about?”

“God, Elida!!!” he shook his head in disbelief. “You don’t see it, do you? You don’t see them for what they are anymore and it scares the crap out of me, finding you so close to this ruthless and cold-blooded son of a nightmare! How can you cuddle with a blood thirsty monster like that? Only a minute ago I have been downstairs to get some logs for the fire and I witnessed one of them raping one of the slave girls. He even stopped when he saw me, offering that poor woman to me as well! They simply do stuff like that. Maybe they won’t hurt you for the time being or as long as the Jarl’s devilish son is around, but I wouldn’t lay my life on the line for it.”

I had not seen him upset like that since we had first met. He was scared. Shocked. Terrified. Because of what he had seen and experienced here. Because of me. And to be honest, he had every right to be.

“Samu!” not sure what to do or say, I reached out my hands towards him. Gladly he took them right away, pulling me in a tight embrace.

“This place is crazy and we need to leave before it breaks or even kills us!” he whispered in my hair and I felt a little shudder. God, he was so right! Maybe it was my DNA, those Norwegian roots I had and that somehow made me feel like home with those people that shared them with me. In a weird way I had started to believe that they actually were my people. But that was nonsense. I was right now with the only person that in fact came close to being “my people”. Hugging Samu tightly, I rested my face to his chest.

“So what do we do now?” I managed to whisper, feeling him pulling me even closer to sit on his lap by the fire.

Looking at me intensely, he grabbed my hair and kissed me. “Right now,” he whispered, “right now I will make sure that you are mine. And two nights from now, I will grab you and take you away from this God forsaken place!” again he kissed me and I felt his hands fumbling with my thin underskirt. Effortlessly he lifted me up, pulling the dress over my head. Getting up on his knees, he nestled around on his belt before he pushed me up against a small chair by the fireplace. A small cry escaped my lips when the chair suddenly toppled over and I fell to the ground with Samu on top of me.

He didn’t stop, but simply grabbed my hair again, making me look up into his eyes.

“You’re mine.” He gasped out, his heavy body holding me down and his lips silencing any further sound I could have made.

Struggling under his weight, I panted for air, feeling the remains of the chair painfully pressing into my back. “Samu!” I managed to croak out and what I saw in his eyes startled me: He would not be able to stop himself. The last days, his own fear, maybe even something like jealousy together with his worries about me, had built up so much tension that he simply held me down, his mouth capturing my lips again. When he started moving again he even pushed my head against the stone mounting of the fireplace and I let out a whimper.

Suddenly and only for a second, a shadow cast over us. Samu was hit by something and abruptly torn away from me.

“Get… off her!” grimacing with pain, Yorick towered between us, his healthy arm raised. He threw a quick gaze at me on the floor and I tried my best to get back on my feet.

Completely out of words, Samu remained on his knees, staring up at the other man. His mouth opened, but he didn’t make a sound. I knew, he wanted to yell back, maybe even punch his opponent, but the moment his infuriated gaze met my eyes, something in his face changed. Instantly he lowered his own eyes, staring down at his hands that only seconds ago had grabbed me so hard that I still felt them around my upper arms.

“It’s alright.” I managed to enunciate and put my shivering hand on Yorick’s naked shoulder, but he shook it off immediately and pulled me away from the fireplace without taking his eyes off Samu.

“Alright you say?” he fumed, putting me behind his back to shield me from Samu, even though he was almost unable to stand upright. “That’s what you call alright?”

“Yorick, please… I… he… he didn’t mean…”

Silencing me with a short gesture he made me take a few steps towards the bed, grabbing his dagger from under his pillow.

“This wasn’t a mutual encounter.” His eyes travelled over my naked body and back to Samu that stood by the fire like a helpless figure in his own nightmare. “I have been on the warpath long enough to know the difference!”

“Yorick!” my voice sounded thin and I touched his back. “Please, he didn’t …”

“I saw and heard what he did to you, Elida!” he interrupted harshly, obviously getting ready to bring his dagger to good use, but I grabbed his arm.

“Yorick!” I whispered pleadingly and he threw another look at me through his narrowed eyes.

“Are you kidding me?” he snarled. “You come to his defence? After … after what he did to you against your will?”

“He didn’t…” I tried again but he cut me short with a low hissing.

“I have seen women defending their abusive husbands but I never…” suddenly he broke off, lowering his hand astounded. Obviously he had gotten the point. “So you and…?” he looked to and fro between us. “So you want him to proceed then?” his brows furrowed when he looked closely at me again.

Slowly I shook my head, avoiding his gaze and wrapping my arms around my naked body.

“You want me to throw him out instead?”

Again I shook my head, squaring my shoulders before I walked by, grabbing my underdress from the floor.

Samu still stood in the corner by the window without saying a single word. The shock was written all over his face and I saw blood on his lip. When I approached him, he stepped back, raising his hands defensively.

“Elida, I’m so sorry!” he whispered with a shaky voice. “I never meant… I didn’t… God!” pale as a corps, he clasped his hands. “Elida, please, you know how I feel about you… you… you are everything to me… I…”

“Luckily I convinced Yorick to believe just that.” I retorted in a whisper. “But I will promise you that I will personally cut your throat if you ever dare touching me this way again.”

He nodded immediately and I saw him swallowing hard. He hated himself right now, I could clearly see that. He had crossed a line, driven by fear and despair. But we couldn’t afford a fight, couldn’t show them just how weak and human we actually were.

“Leave now.” I insisted and his eyes became round.

“But you… You want me to leave you with him?”

“I am as safe with him as I am with you, I assume. At least he won’t try anything because he would commit a sacrilege.”

My words hurt him deeply. I saw him gritting his teeth, his pain and confusion plainly visible.

He was right after all. This place was gonna destroy us eventually. And if we weren’t extremely careful it would rather be sooner than later.

“Samu.” My voice was feeble and he looked directly at me again, unsure whether he should step closer or simply stay where he was.

“Do you have to punish me for what I did?” I asked in a toneless voice, obviously remembering the execution of Valgaror, the young man that had dared to believe that he stood above the law.

Slowly I shook my head no.

“I have an idea to turn this around and use your behaviour for our advantage but I need you to kneel down, kiss my fucking feet and leave this place right now! Go outside, pray, meditate, whatever, but leave!” My own voice sounded harsh and he nodded immediately, doing exactly as I told him.

When he approached and kneeled down in front of me, Yorick was by my side within a split second, eying the other man suspiciously with his dagger at the ready.

“I’ll find you.” I simply said, pointing at the curtain that served as our door.

His gaze was full of remorse and regret when he got back on his feet. “Forgive me.” He whispered pleadingly, but I didn’t answer him. That would have been too easy on him.  Samu lowered his head again before leaving me alone with Yorick.

Still staring into nowhere, Yorick remained standing a little unsteadily.

“You are bleeding.” He then said calmly, putting his hand on my face.

Carefully I touched the little spot where my head had actually made acquaintance with the cobble stones of the fireplace, rubbing my bloody fingers.

“Lie down.” I demanded softly instead of reacting to his words and sat down on the bed next to him. “Please!” Putting my hand on his naked chest, I gently compelled him to rest on his straw filled pillow again.

He had fallen silent, watching me closely while I examined his wound. Without a single sound he let me remove the bandage and clean the area around the lesion. It had healed well and I even managed to give him a smile.

“You’ll be fine again.” I whispered, leaning back against the headrest of our wretched bed.

He had not taken his eyes off me and the piercing stare of his grey eyes started to make me nervous. I knew he didn’t approve my protective and excusatory reaction towards Samu. But in his defence: The last couple of days had been hard on him, especially without me. This place had changed both of us drastically and I knew for sure, that it would break Samu if he had to stay.

With my hand on his chest, I remained sitting next to Yorick. His strong heartbeat was vibrating through my fingertips and I felt a sudden and quiet called-for relief.

“Why?” he asked, interrupting my troubled thoughts abruptly.

I returned his gaze, moving closer to understand him properly.

“Why what?” I replied gently, whipping the last few stains of blood from his shoulder.

“Everything.” He simply stated, his grey eyes piercing through me. He gave the slightest shrug, rubbing his eyes that were still red and sunken in.

I started to feel ill at ease, softly putting my hand on his forehead. Was he maybe delirious with fever again? But his skin still felt normal and there was no smelly sweat anymore.

As if he had sensed my thoughts, he took my hand in his, holding it close to his heart again.

“Why did you try so hard to save me?”

I felt a shy smile flashing over my face.

“I only returned the favour, Yorick. You saved my life, you brought me here and you protected me. I owed you one.”

“You convinced my brother and Idun and above it all Bestefar Oddgeir.” Slowly he shook his head. “You put yourself in danger by fighting against everything the ancestors and the Gods stand for, everything my kind holds dear. Why would you put yourself in that position?”

I remained silent, thoughtfully caressing his skin with my thumb until I realised, what I was doing. Removing my hand from his chest, I gave a shrug myself.

“Maybe this was one of the reasons I came to this place.” Forthrightly I tilted my head. “Why of all times and places would I be sent here? Other than to maybe make a difference with every step I take? Maybe it is my… well, call it duty or mission to make you stay in Ireland and prevent you from traveling back to Wales and right into war with the king of Wessex and the Danes. Maybe I came here to show you a better place and a better life. A place to settle down, built a home and farms, start trading goods.” I shrugged. “I know I don’t belong here, not really. But I know that I can make a difference. For you and your clan. And by saving you I made sure that they wouldn’t only have a strong war chief, but someone with the ability to see beyond.” I couldn’t resist placing my fingertips on the raven on his forehead. “Your clan might one day need a strong heart and mind.”

He watched me silently, his tired eyes wide open and taking in every inch of my face and every word from my lips. Then he suddenly smiled.

“Woman, you are indeed most special.” Putting his hand over mine on his forehead, he looked up at me in an almost admiring way.

Diffidently I lowered my gaze. “Come on now, you need some rest.” I pulled up the blanket and got up. “Stay here, go back to sleep, I will check on Samu and be back for you, alright?”

Grabbing my arm, he made me sit down by his side again and shook his head. “You’re not going alone!” he insisted and pulled me closer. “That would have been my next why. Why him? Why do you allow him to hurt you?” shaking his head, he squeezed my fingers. “Of course I know why you chose him. You are akin, spiritually and also… I believe that you were sent here from another time, another world. Maybe you came straight from Asgard. But what I don’t understand is the way he treats you. He is supposed to worship you, guard and protect you from harm. And only a few minutes ago, he tried to force you…”

“Yorick.” Softly I silenced him by putting my hand on his lips. “We are very much alike, Samu and I. We came here from the same time and place – you might as well call it Asgard, I don’t have another explanation for you. When we met for the first time, we both knew that we were meant to be together. But the last days, our time here, among your kind, it changed us. We adapted, became more like your kind. But we are also scared, insecure and we long for our place of origin even though we seem to have stranded here for good. Deep down Samu has never been violent but this place changed him. It changed both of us. And I’m afraid we won’t survive in your world.” Caressing Yorick’s cheek with my fingertips, I suddenly realised that this wasn’t pure invention. I had just given tongue to my deepest fears and worries.

Yorick nodded thoughtfully, taking my hand between the rough palms of his own. “Do you believe that there is a chance for you to return?” he asked after a few minutes of silence and I shrugged.

“Maybe there is.” I answered evasively. “Maybe the Bifröst will open again as soon as our task in this world is complete.”

He chuckled at my attempt to make a joke, carefully running his fingers through my hair. “Maybe it already is.” He suggested, but I shook my head no.

“Oddgeir wants us to have a symbolic child.” I felt my voice quaver. “But there is a problem that cannot be solved.”

He lifted my chin to make me look into his eyes. “You don’t want it.” He assumed but I shook my head, whipping my cheeks when I suddenly felt tears rolling down from my eyes.

“Elida.” Gently he pulled me down to lie next to him, my face buried to his neck. The sudden urge to shrink back faded within a second, when I felt his hand rubbing my back.

“It’s not just that I don’t want it.” I whispered back, taking spontaneous refuge in his warm embrace. “It is impossible.”

The hand on my back suddenly lay still. “You can’t have a child of your own?” Yorick moved his head a little, his nose and warm breath touching my cheek.

“There… Yorick, there is a device inside of me that prevents pregnancy. I told Oddgeir about it and he wants to remove it within the next days so that I might conceive and have this symbolic child. But…”

“The procedure might endanger your life.” Suddenly Yorick seemed fully awake and lifted his weight to his elbow to look down at me.

I nodded. “Kill me or make me infertile for the rest of my life.”

“And Oddgeir knows about that?”

“He does, but since the device is shaped like a ᛏ, he believes that Tyr will hold a protective hand over me.”

“Maybe he is right after all.” Smiling down at me, Yorick put his hand on my lower belly. “Tyr is your protector and the Gods of Asgard will always keep you safe until your mission is fulfilled according to their will.”

Feeling a lump in my throat, I simply nodded. Yorick had been my last best hope. But of course he wasn’t different than the rest of them. It was his believe as well that I was Godsend. And of course he believed in the protective strength of his Gods. Closing my eyes, I buried my face to his neck once more but I didn’t find any comfort. Sighing I sat up and put my feet down to the ground.

“I need to find Samu.” I whispered, wiping my eyes again.

Yorick’s hand was on my back and he rubbed it tenderly. “Promise me to be careful.” He whispered back, reaching under his pillow to retrieve his dagger. “Take this with you and bring it to use, you understand?” lifting the knife, he put the blade on his lips before handing it over to me.

I nodded, dropping by the wayside. “Sleep now, will you?” Squeezing his arm, I got up completely. “I’ll be back to check on you.”

With that I left and made my way downstairs on my tiptoes. The hall was deserted. When I looked around closely, I found a few men sleeping in corners under blankets.

Gundulfr was keeping guard by the main door with his axe on his lap and a large fur around his shoulders. He barely looked up when I exited the house.

Pointing in the direction of the woods, he nodded at me. “Said he needed to pray.” He simply stated, continuing to sharpen his axe.

I followed the small path into the underbrushes, which surrounded the back of the main hut. From afar I saw Samu sitting by the roots of an old tree, his arms wrapped around his knees. He didn’t look up when I approached him, his head rested on his forearms.

“Samu?” carefully I touched the back of his head and he flinched.

“Elida.” He whispered and put his face on his arms again with a sigh.

“I need to talk to you.” Kneeling down in front of him, I placed Yorick’s dagger in my lap and waited for Samu to look up again.

It took him a few seconds to bring himself to lifting his gaze. He looked guilty. Guilty and scared to the centre of his soul.

“I hope that you know that I never meant to hurt you in any way.” He said with a husky voice and I nodded, my mind still far away, trying to figure out our next steps.

“I just talked to Yorick, but it seems…” I fell silent, my hands automatically playing with the dagger they held. “I had hoped that…”

“You hoped that he would help us.” Samu gritted his teeth and grimaced. “Did you… did you tell him, that we have to leave?”

Slowly I shook my head. “I told him almost everything but I can’t tell him to his face that we are gonna run. He is very grateful and to be honest he was surprised that I actually tried so hard to safe him.”

“So what is he gonna do? What are we gonna do?”

“Nothing for now. He won’t do anything. From his point of view, Tyr will save me and shield me from any harm.”

Samu chuckled humourlessly. “The only person in this world that is supposed to shield you from anything is me.” He whispered in a dark voice and gave another chuckle. “But I don’t even manage to protect you from myself!” clutching his hands, he shook his head from side to side. “Will you now try and find shelter with him? Shelter from me? After you saved him, I think he owes you.”

A little confused I looked at him. “I think we are even now.” I retorted, getting up on my feet again. “Samu, the problem is that he won’t be helping us to get away from here. And that is why I need to know one thing from you right now: Are you with me?”

“You know, there is actually something I need to know from you first.” He suddenly said, getting up as well.

“And what is that.” Clutching the dagger in my hand, I returned his stare.

“Are YOU actually still with ME after saving him?”

Confused I stepped back. “Of course I am! Samu, we saved him! We saved the only person that actually seems to matter to us, because – putting aside his weird Gods and beliefs – he is on our side!”

Closing the gap between us with one single step, Samu bent down in my direction. “Us?” he snarled. “Seriously, US? You mean you, don’t you? He matters to YOU.”

“Of course us, you stupid pet!” starting to feel annoyed by his behaviour, I grabbed the dagger a little tighter. “You and me!”

He shook his head slowly from side to side, holding my stare. “I don’t think so. You are far too involved with him and to be very honest, I don’t see you leaving this place with me anymore. I see you with him and it gives me the creeps. The way you care for him, hold him while you are asleep! It is like you belong here. This place. HIM.” He pointed at the hut in the soft light of the morning.

“You don’t seriously believe that I would consider, even for a second, to stay here!”

“Well…” he shrugged, raising the palms of his hands. “You seem well adapted and pretty comfortable in the arms of your Viking-sweetheart.”

Feeling anger boiling in my stomach, I stared up at him. “Jesus Christ!” I hissed, by now close to slapping his face or actually bringing the dagger to use.

“Don’t tell me I’m on the wrong track! What do you take me for?” throwing his arms into the air, he turned away from me, but I stopped him.

“Samu, I…” I started, but he interrupted me with a short gesture.

“How will your life continue?” he simply asked without listening to me. “Maybe will he will marry you and you will stay in this place, this time. Maybe he will stop the old man from killing you by removing your intrauterine device. But most probably he will not like to have an infertile wife, so he will take others and you will stay here until… well, maybe until you die from some disease or an infection from your loop because it needs changing in a few years. Summing it all up… well, doesn’t look rosy, does it?” he grimaced.

“Are you even listening to yourself?” I exploded, not willing to let him paint a black future for me based on his own fears. “I am not gonna stay here! I told Yorick that Oddgeir wants my loop removed and he simply takes that information in with a smile and a shrug! I will not let anyone stop me from escaping this place! With or without you, I am leaving!” With that I turned on my heels myself and stomped off, but he followed me and grabbed my arm.

“Are you serious?” he whispered, his eyes scrutinizing my face.

I moaned lowly and shook Samu’s hand off, pointing Yorick’s dagger at him. “I don’t belong here, Samu!” I yelled at him. “But I have a safe home, work and friends to return to! If life right now doesn’t give me the opportunity to flee, I will of course stay and carry my destiny with all dignity I can find. I will endure the operation and if it has to happen, I will have a child in this world. A child with you, for Christ’s sake! A godly child, which they will worship. They will honour us, cherish us, but I will never stop trying to escape them and find my way back home!” I stared up at Samu with furry in my eyes. “The question is, can I count on you, rely on you when the going gets rough? I can fend for myself most of the time, but I need you by my side and not on top of me in the violent attempt to make me yours again because you have been jealous of another man!”

Samu’s mouth opened but he didn’t reply. Slowly he nodded all of a sudden, kneeling down in front of me.

“Elida.” His voice was low but firm and he took hold of my hand that still clasped the long dagger. “I am with you. I swear to you that I will do anything in my power to keep you safe. Anything. And if I ever again dare to break this promise,” he put the knife point to his own neck, holding the blade. “You might as well kill me, because I can’t live another second, knowing that I hurt you.”

Gritting my teeth I stared down at him, my hand grabbing the handhold of the dagger.

“Don’t you dare mocking me! This is not some kind of movie and I am dead serious.”

Samu returned my stare without blinking. “As am I.” With a quick movement he ran his palm along the blade and lifted his hand in my direction. “On my blood.”

I removed the dagger from his neck. “I didn’t need a blood oath, a simple and earnest promise would have done.” Cautiously I sat down on one of the large roots of the old oak tree, looking down at Samu that still kneeled on the grass. “Before we talk this through, there is something I need to tell you.” I turned the long blade between my fingers. “My desperate need to save Yorick lies much deeper that the simple urge to help him and keep him on our side of this weird play we stumbled into.” I drew a deep breath, waiting for Samu to look at me again. “My mother died when I was a child, there was nothing I could do about her death. But I once had a brother.” I then started, forcing his eyes not to leave mine. “He was only two years older than me and he died in a hiking-accident. It has been years, but that day still haunts me. I was trying to hold fast onto him, but I didn’t have the strength. He fell off one of the cliffs we used to hike together.” I paused, gritting my teeth. “We had been caught in the rain, stormbound. And he died in my arms because I didn’t manage to carry him, help him, prevent him from dying.” Drawing a laboured breath, I paused again. “So you see,” I looked straight into his eyes again and nodded at him. “I had a score to settle with my own private demons because I swore to myself that I would never again let someone die if I could prevent it.” Exhaling lowly, I folded my shivering hands around the blade they held. “So if you ever again feel unsure about my motivations, most of them originate from this very day. The day I lost Matias.”