Chapter 15 - Lost in the Dark

Chapter 15

The knife between my fingers felt surreal. It was far too big and heavy, its grind almost the size of my whole hand. I was quivering with emotions, feeling frequent shudders running through my body at the sight of Yorick’s lifeless body on the table.

Looking around the huge crowd, I drew a deep breath. They had done and arranged everything I had asked for. Yorick was tied to the top of one of the large tables. Torches had been lit because the house had no real windows on its ground floor. Oddgeir had given a good set of clean and sharp knives to me but I still felt my guts churn at the mere idea of carrying out my plan. Aevarr suddenly nodded at me and placed himself behind his brother’s head with a thick piece of leather. Very carefully he put the leather into Yorick’s mouth and checked on the band that held down the younger man’s head.

I let my gaze travel around.

Water and fresh and lint-free cloths.

Two spears with their heads red-glowing in the nearby fire.

Me and a knife.

Yorick and his fatal injury.

Drawing another deep breath I pulled myself together, quickly wiping the wound around the wood of the arrow. Then I nodded at three of the men that were at my command. The room had fallen silent and I looked at them seriously.

“Take his arm and cross it over his chest. Then turn his upper body and hold him down. I need you to give me access to his shoulder from the back and I need you to hold him at any cost. If he struggles or moves, this arrow might be the end of him, you understand?”

They almost nodded in unison, their faces stout and resolute.

“Do it, Seeress!” Aevarr stood at the other side of the table with his face towards me. He put his hand around the wooden residues of the arrow below his brother’s collar bone, nodding at me firmly. “Do it and be quick.”

I had instructed all of them well, suddenly feeling uninstructed myself when I felt my way over Yorick’s shoulder. The angle was perfect when he remained on his side like this. Most probably his shoulder blade was out of the way and there was a slight chance of actually pushing the horrible cross bow arrow through the opening I was supposed to cut as soon as my hands would stop shaking.

I gritted my teeth, grabbing the knife tightly. Without even thinking about it, I grazed the top side of my own arm. The cut wasn’t deep but the pain helped me to sharpen my senses. Even though the knife wasn’t as small as I had hoped, it was razor-sharp.

“Hold him.” I heard my own voice. It sounded calm and somehow dark. Then I simply grasped the knife firmly and cut a deep cross into the flesh of the young man on the table.

Even though he was completely unconscious, his body reacted with a small jerk and I exchanged a gaze with Aevarr.

“Go ahead!” he yelled at me, bending over the man on the table to use his body weight to push the arrow through the narrow opening.

Jesus, Yorick was bleeding! Had I actually hit important blood vessels?  

“Aevarr! Now!” I croaked, watching the tall warrior pressing his hand against the thin wood with all his force. The tip of the arrow head was suddenly visible and I grabbed it, pulling as hard as I could.

“Spear!” my voice sounded distorted in my own ears, but I grabbed the hot wooden handhold of one of the spears right away when it was handed over to me. The arrow head fell to the floor and I closed my eyes, ramming the red glowing spear into Yorick’s wound from behind.

“Turn him.”

My knees almost gave in, when I grabbed the other lance and climbed on the table to find a good angle. God, he was so pale and helpless! Starring down at Yorick’s face, I had to close my eyes again. Death by Odin’s weapon, it came to my mind. Even if he didn’t survive this, it would take him straight to Valhalla and everybody would be happy. Well. Everybody except me. I held my breath and cauterized the wound, feeling my stomach turn at the weird smell of blood and barbecue.

When I woke up again, I felt a hand on my head. Cautiously I opened my eyes, finding Aevarr standing next to me. I lay on one of the beds in the upper part of the house, sitting up with a whimper.

“Yorick!” I managed to say.

Aevarr pointed at the place next to me and gave me a smile.

“Idun bandaged his arm.” He said in a low voice. “Get some rest now, you did well, Embla.” Again his large hand touched my hair. “I can see now why he chose to return to you.”

With that he left me and I sank back into the furs, closing my eyes. God, I felt exhausted.

Turning over to my side, I tried to find a pulse on Yorick’s neck, breathing a sigh of relief when I finally found it on his cold and damp skin.

“Don’t you dare dying on me, you Viking-bastard!” I whispered, pulling a blanket over him. “I told you to let Odin wait and I will personally work your balls off if you don’t do as you are told!”

Completely shattered I rested my forehead to his bandaged shoulder and fell asleep before another thought crossed my mind.

I was softly awoken by fingertips that ran along my temple and down to my chin. Slowly I opened my eyes, blinking in confusion when I suddenly sensed lips on mine, kissing me very carefully. My dreams were still far too close and I felt my heart racing in my chest, pulling away. Matias. God knew that I had never forgiven myself for letting go of his hand, unable to hold on to it any longer without slipping over the edge of the rock as well.

“Elida?”

His warm breath was on my face and I shook my head quickly to dispel the weird emotions that seemed to weigh heavy on me. Samu. Sighing lowly I cuddled closer to him, taking his hand in mine.

“Successful?” I whispered with a hoarse voice, clearing my throat.

He nodded and gave me a smile, stooping down by my side.

“I am almost certain that Riku followed me. He’s one brave boy-scout. My guards seemed impressed by my performance of meditation and talking to Gods I don’t quite know. Even so, I …” he fell silent and looked down, playing with the palm of my hand. “To my surprise it was a lot more sincere than I had expected. I don’t have much experience when it comes to… well talking to Gods, taking-the-inward-turn, whatever you might call it. But I tried.” He fell silent again, still staring down at my fingers. “I sound stupid.” He suddenly said, standing up. But I grabbed his arm and pulled him back to sit next to me on the bed.

“You don’t!” I assured, running my fingers over the stubbles on his cheek. “Trust me, you really don’t. Sometimes I feel that we actually have been sent here by some greater power.”

“To what end?” he whispered back, resting his forehead on mine.

I shrugged a little unsure. “Without us, these people would have returned to Wales. They wouldn’t have settled here. Maybe … maybe we are here because …”

“Are you talking about altering history? Influencing the text books?” he looked at me astounded and I was quick to shrug.

“I have no idea! Maybe.” I answered evasively. “It somehow makes me feel better to have a purpose.”

“You’ve certainly had yours today!” Samu’s gaze wandered over the man that lay by my side. Asleep or still unconscious, I couldn’t tell. Yawning deeply, I nodded.

“I have no idea why, but this operation took all my strength.” I rubbed my face. “I think I passed out.”

“You did well.” Carefully Samu let his fingertips travel along my cheek. “Is there anything I can do to help you? D’you maybe wanna take a break? I could take the next watch.”

I nodded slowly and got up, rearranging my blood-spilled dress. “Let me fresh up a little, I could use a drink and some food! D’you have any idea what time it is?”

“I’d guess around 9 maybe?” shrugging Samu threw a look outside into the misty dark outside the window. “I can’t really tell anymore.”

Following his gaze, I rubbed my eyes again, still feeling exhausted like never in my life. Cautiously I put my hand on Yorick’s forehead, breathing a sigh of relief when I found it damp, but cold. I removed the blanket from his bandaged shoulder, considering turning him around and checking on the wound on his back. Pondering about it for a few seconds, I decided otherwise. He needed rest and I would be back within an hour at the most.

“Come eat with me.” I ran the palm of my hand over Samu’s arm, playing with the rolled up sleeves of his shirt. Following the trace of my hand with my eyes, I caressed his collarbone with my fingertips, all of a sudden relieved that he had returned from his own mission unharmed.

Obviously he the look on my face spoke volumes, because he bent forward abruptly, capturing my lips in a fervent kiss.

“You perform the miracles, I will do anything in my power to keep us together, alive and get us away from this place.” He whispered with a husky voice, his lips still touching mine.

“I know you will.” Raking my fingers through his hair, I smiled up at him even though I was 100% sure about the seriousness of the promise he had just made to me.

I had barely eaten more than a few bites, when the slave girl I had instructed to stay with Yorick suddenly came rushing down the stairs.

“Mylady!” she whispered, making a low bow. “Seeress, I’m afraid the wounded is running a temperature.”

The man by my side  - Gunjorn if I wasn’t again mistaking him for his brother Gundulfr – grabbed the girls hair and snarled: “Are you little elf not in charge of the wounded son of the Jarl?”

Without thinking it through completely, I jumped up and got between them, looking the warrior square in the eyes. He was frustrated because he himself had been wounded two weeks ago, saving his brother’s life. Because of his now grievously wounded arm he had not been one of the men to be taken along to the Black Castle’s capture. And that fact annoyed and disgruntled him beyond any measure.

“And she is reporting back to me.” I said as softly as I could. With my hand still on his shoulder, I intensified my gaze, nodding at him. “Let go of her and let her speak.”

He grunted something and spat out, releasing the servant. She was trembling like a leaf, clasping her hands.

“Fever, I’m afraid he’s got a fever.” Secretly crossing herself, she gave me a pleading look. “I don’t wanna be the one in there with him if he falls sick and dies, Seeress! They will kill me right away, I know it.”

“Nobody’s gonna kill you.” I tried to assure her, exchanging a quick look with Samu.

He nodded immediately. “What do you need? Movie-style? Hot water, clean towels? Any idea?”

“I will check on him and let you know.” With that I started for the stairs, right away followed and stopped by Idun.

“It was a brave attempt, sister, and I expected nothing less from you.” She said in a very low voice, looking at me with her intense eyes. “But he’s in the hands of the Gods now, so let him be.” The hand around my upper arm grabbed me harder when I tried to ignore her and walk by.

“Seeress!” she hissed, moving closer and blocking my way. “Be prepared to let him go, he is in the hands of Odin now, at His will and mercy!”

Getting hold of the collar of her dress, I pulled her even closer, my nose almost touching hers. “He’s in the hands of Odin, fair enough.” I heard myself say and I knew from the imminent change in her gaze, that my own eyes were most probably dark and glittering with furry. For the first time she was indeed scared of me. And she should. Gritting my teeth, I shook my head.

“Odin gave me my hands to use them for the ones he favours!” I said, still holding her piercing stare. “And I shall be damned if I lose Yorick.”

She held me for another few seconds, then she suddenly stepped back and I saw again a little flicker of fear in her mesmerizing eyes.

“So be it.” She whispered, raising her hands and letting go of me completely.

I rushed by without looking back, making my way through the curtains that separated the upstairs roosts of the Jarl’s family. Samu and I had not dared moving over to Havar’s bedroom at the end of the room. Conform to the customs of the clan, Aevarr had now granted his brother the honour of sleeping in their father’s space. Yorick himself couldn’t care less, but I was glad, because the room actually had a window so I had the required light for my examinations and also the chance to air the room from time to time by simply removing the thick pelt that covered the small window frame.

Nervously I tried to plait my hair and put them under the stiff bandeau I wore. Yorick wasn’t awake when I circled the bed, but his sleep was obviously fitful and his skin covered in sweat.

Dear Lord, Jesus Christ, Odin even, please don’t leave me now! With a wet cloth I wiped the young man’s face, trying to calm him down with my hand placed on his chest. Whispering soft words to sooth him, I even started to sing the first songs that came to my mind.

A sudden cry escaped his dry lips and he sat up before I managed to hold him down. His eyes were red and he was scanning the room feverishly and panting heavily.

“Please, lay down again!” I whispered, bending over him when he didn’t react.

His eyelashes fluttered and he stared at me completely thunderstruck.

“Embla!” he then croaked, his chest heaving painfully with a deep sigh.

I nodded, cautiously putting my hands to the back of his neck and shoulders to put him down into the sweaty pillow again.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I whispered, whipping his face once more before I took a wooden mug and filled it with water from the pitcher on the commode nearby. One drop at a time I put the cold water on his lips and he allowed me to help him back into an upright position for a short moment to assist him drink.

“Is the pain durable?” I asked when I had the mug aside and bent over Yorick to examine his naked chest.

He nodded with his eyes closed, wincing under my hands. Carefully I peeped under the bandage, finding the gash weeping. The smell of barbecue was almost too much to bare right at this moment and I had to close my eyes and breathe lowly through my gritted teeth. I wasn’t a doctor, but I had to be in this place. A doctor and so much more, at least until Yorick was on the road to recovery.

“It is bad, isn’t it?” he whispered again and his pale face and lifeless voice hurt me a lot more that I would have ever admitted.

“We prayed and made sacrifices to the Gods for you.” I returned instead of really answering his question. “The wound will heal and I will be here to demand your soul back from the good father himself if necessary.”

The right corner of his mouth quirked slightly. “Sorry to have disappointed you, Seeress.” He whispered almost inaudible and closed his eyes again.

“You didn’t.” I whispered back, placing my hand on his sweaty cheek. “You made the Gods proud and you would have died a warrior’s death. But I can’t allow it.”

He gazed at me astounded but now that the first shock of still being alive had subsided, he suddenly grimaced with pain, his healthy hand grabbing his shoulder. I removed his hand from the bandage, making him lay down again. In my head I went over my given opportunities and the medication I could get for him. Meadow sweet, maybe rampion. But did it actually grow around somewhere? The biggest chance was to go for willow bark.

As if he had sensed my thoughts, Samu suddenly entered the sick room, handing me a small leather bag.

“They gave me this for you.” He said, looking down at Yorick’s convulsed body on the bed with a mixture of worry and reservedness.

Grabbing the bag, I went through its contents, breathing a sigh of relief. Obviously Oddgeir knew what he was doing, because I actually found the willow bark I had hoped for. I got up right away, filling a large pot of soapstone with a good handful of the bark.

“Can you get some more water?” I emptied the jug from the commode into the iron pot over the fireplace before handing it over to Samu.

“Anything else?” he bent down by my side when I put another few logs into the fire to start it again. I shook my head, wrapping my arms around his hips for a few brief seconds.

“I owe him my life.” I whispered, looking up into Samu’s eyes. “This *let him die and finally return to Odin*-crap is not gonna convince me.”

He nodded slowly, breaking away when the low whimpering on the bed suddenly changed to pained moaning.

“Go help him.” Samu’s lips found mine and he kissed me possessively. “I’ll be back.”

With that he left and I bolt into my new responsibility head over heels, the picture of Matias terrified face and only seconds later his shattered and blood spilled body on my mind’s eye. This was my chance to make it up to him, fight me demons and defeat them once and for all. For myself, my inward peace. And for Matias, the brother I had lost so many years ago because I had been unable to rescue him.