Elena gasped again, carefully opening her eyes. Riku! She felt around the bed, trying to turn around. Hadn’t she just cheated on her husband and spent a night at the beach with Riku? Swallowing hard she tried her best not to throw up.
What a bad hangover!
Staggering she got up, heading for the bathroom of her apartment, where she simply slumped down in front of the toilet, vomiting. The acid was burning in her throat and she rested her back against the cold wall when she finally felt empty again.
Rob peeped around the corner, throwing a stern look at her. “Listen,” he wrinkled his nose in disgust. “I know he’s kinda your friend and you know him from school and stuff, but... do you actually have to get wasted with him every night since he came to London last Friday?”
With a lot of effort Elena lifted her head. What the hell was he talking about?
Rob stepped back. There was anger burning in his eyes. “Do you even know what happened last night? That he had to carry you home? Jeez, Leni!” he buried his hands in his dark hair. “You were full of vomit and so was he! He could barely stand or walk, it was five in the morning! What the hell is going on with you? And what the hell is going on between you two? I mean, I had to throw him out because he insisted to help me, getting you undressed and into the bathtub to wash away all that disgusting stuff! Christ! You were covered in half digested chips and beer!” he stepped back. “What the hell is going on, Leni?”
“I... I don’t know... I...” she croaked hoarsely, clearing her throat. Instantly her stomach was churning again from the bad taste in her mouth and she leaned over, coughing and gagging.
It was true. She didn’t have a clue. Since when was she back in London? What day was it? Why was Rob around? He had his own flat and most of the time he was too busy to spend a whole night at her place.
The door was shut and she was finally on her own again. After a few seconds she heard the door of her flat. It was closed forcefully.
Elena held her nose, taking a few deep breaths through her mouth before she got up, stepping into the shower. It was eight already. She wouldn’t make it in time anyway - according to Rob not for the first time this week - so she just concentrated on relaxing her muscles, trying not to think about the last night in her dream or in reality.
Riku. God, it had felt so good to be with him! He was so gentle and loving! Remembering his hands and lips she felt a shiver running down her back despite the hot water. The sex in her dreams with Samu had always been amazing but right now all she wanted was to go back to sleep to tell Riku that she didn’t regret the wonderful night they had just spent together. Slowly towelling herself off, she stared into her own pale reflection in the mirror. What the hell was wrong with her? She had never been in such a mess before!
Rob, the man she had been dating for two years.
Riku, the guy from home, a popstar she hardly knew.
Samu, her dream-husband she paradoxically loved with all her heart.
And dream- Riku, the man she was bound to far beyond friendship.
She was at her wits’ end.
Brushing her teeth over and over again she walked through her apartment. There was a bucket on the small balcony, containing her clothes that actually were full of vomit. Elena closed her eyes, quickly turning away. That was nothing she was actually capable of looking at right now.
Slipping into some jeans and an old pullover, she brushed her hair, putting them back with a hair-band because she didn’t want to use a scrunchy, knowing exactly that the hangover-pain in her head would kill her if she tried.
She took her bag and her keys, taking another deep breath before she made her way outside, locking the door. Cold winter wind blew through the streets and Elena pulled up the zipper of her coat. It was extremely cold and still everything was covered with a thin layer of snow. Carefully she took a few steps, trying not to slip on the frozen ground. The weather was definitely a perfect excuse for her delay. Unless she had been using this idea for a few days in a row now. Pulling her woollen cap down, she spread her arms, taking one step after the other. Suddenly she heard a low whistle. “Chucky?” a voice whispered and she turned around, finding someone leaning at the wall of her house, carefully looking from side to side. Chucky? She couldn’t remember this nickname. Chucky? She narrowed her eyes, feeling her legs shaking. Chuck. Chucks. Riku had called her Chucky a few times...
His hood was pulled far down, a huge scarf covering most of his face when he approached. “Hey!” he removed the scarf, bending over to kiss her. A little surprised Elena stepped closer, returning his hug and completely ignoring his lips that now kissed her cheek instead of her mouth where he had been aiming at first.
“Hey Riku.” She managed to mumble and stepped back.
He held her by her shoulders, cautiously looking down at her. “You ok, baby?” he whispered, checking the surrounding again. “I saw him leaving but I... well, I was hiding, I’m sure he doesn’t want to see me again after last night.”
Elena raised her hand, touching his black eye. “Don’t tell me this was him!”
He chuckled, softly kissing her palm. “He was a little pissed off to be honest. You had passed out and I was trying to take you home, not willing to let go of you, so... well he bawled me out and when I insisted on helping you, he planted a little punch on my face.” Again he chuckled. “A lot stronger than I expected, this boyfriend of yours!” he wrapped his arms around her tightly. “How are you now?” he whispered close to her ear, placing soft little kisses on her neck. Elena felt a little shiver and closed her eyes. God, his smell was so familiar, taking her back to the night at the beach where she had been kissing him, holding him tight, letting him make love to her several times until the breaking of the dawn. She sighed, instinctively pulling him closer. “Actually I feel sick.” She whispered back, making him giggle.
“Same here, luv!” he rubbed his nose to her cheek, resting his forehead onto hers. “D’you... d’you wanna talk about last night?” he whispered suddenly, caressing her lips with his thumb.
She looked up at him, slowly shaking her head no. “I’m not sure actually. The only thing I know is that I was completely covered in vomit and that I had to throw up two times this morning.”
“Yeah, I know.” He grinned sheepishly, still running his thumb over her lips. “Actually we were having a blast, but... well, I wanted to walk you home and... well...” out of a sudden he leaned in again, kissing her softly. “Everything was fine, until I kissed you somewhere along the way and... well, you threw up on me and... I threw up on you in return and... then you passed out and I had to carry you all the way back to your place. You’re quite heavy, little girl!”
Elena stared at him in surprise, stepping back. “We... we kissed?”
“Well, I can clearly see that it didn’t have much of an impact on you, but yes we did.” He pulled her closer again, looking straight into her eyes before pressing his lips onto hers. “Remember now?” he whispered out of breath when he pulled away.
Slowly Elena nodded, slipping her arms around his neck. “I do.” She whispered, letting him kiss her again. When she looked up into his beautiful eyes the familiar Riku from her dreams and the man standing right in front of her, smiling down at her with his arms wrapped around her, got hopelessly mixed up. Inseparably. It was Riku. This one or the wonderful man that had been sleeping right behind her on the beach, loving her, holding her close. It was him. Riku. Her Riku.
“D’you regret it?” he whispered, putting his hand around the back of her neck, softly playing with her earlobe. She shook her head, remembering his hands on her again. So gentle but at the same time demanding, claiming back, not wanting to let her go.
She cupped his face with her own hands. “I don’t.” She whispered back, kissing him when he bent down to meet her lips. Clearing her throat, she stepped back after a few seconds, putting her hand on her red lips. “I... Riku, I...” once more she cleared her throat.
“I know, baby!” instantly he stepped closer again, kissing her violently. “I know that you are with him, but I don’t care!”
“ Riku, you... you and I...”
“What?” he whispered breathlessly, capturing her mouth completely with his eager kiss. “Just tell me what you want from me, Chucky! Tell me what you need, you’ll have it. D’you actually want him? Need him?” a low moan escaped his lips when she deepened the kiss, pulling him closer. “D’you want him?” he whispered into her mouth, feeling her shaking her head and holding him even tighter. Then she loosened her grip around him, looking him square in the eyes with blushing cheeks. “But Riku, it... It’s not like we... I mean, you don’t even know me and...” he silenced her with another kiss, grinning bashfully when he broke away from her. “That’s not true actually.” Opening the zipper of his jacket, he took out his wallet, searching it. “See?” he unfolded a piece of paper. “When I met you at the pub on New Year’s Eve, I was really drunk but when I woke up the morning after it came to me like a brainstorm. Like Fizzzzzzzz! Sudden inspiration. You are one of the Heikkinen-girls from south-town! I’ve always been a little scared of your brothers actually! But when I realised who you were I went home to my parents’ place, searching the attic for my old yearbooks to make sure it was you. And guess what? The page with your picture on it wasn’t complete. I had cut this out to put it in my wallet.” He handed the crumpled and often folded piece of paper to her, making her giggle.
“You LIKED me back in high school? Hell, I looked awful! I mean look at me! This little gothic-vampire, are you kidding me?”
“No.” He took the picture back and put it inside his wallet. “From my point of view you were the coolest girl at school! But as I said,” he grinned. “I was really afraid of your brothers so I never had the guts to ask you out.”
Elena laughed. “Gosh, Riku, I didn’t even remember you!”
“Well, I was small, had a bad haircut and pimples, of course you don’t remember me!” laughing along with her he pulled her closer.
“But Riku...”
“Hum?” still grinning he kissed her cheek.
“Gosh, this is crazy! I mean... I... I can’t be with you!”
“Why’s that?” he stroked her back. “Did you forget how nice and handsome I am? No more pimples, no more bad haircuts!” he tried to joke, watching her carefully.
She giggled, resting her forehead to his chin. God, this felt so familiar! “You are never around!” she cited as an example, trying to be reasonable. “You are always somewhere doing your business and I have to be in London for my work.”
“You don’t need to work!” he simply stated, kissing her lips. “I’ll give you anything you want, Helsinki-girl.”
“I do need to work.” She insisted, softly pushing him away. “So how often would I be able to see you and have you around? Twice a year?”
“Depends.” He admitted, sighing silently. “If we are on tour it is gonna be long, but I will come to see you as often as I can.”
“Maybe that’s not enough for me.” She closed her eyes when he pulled her in for another kiss.
“Well,” he whispered. “You could also stay with this dark haired guy and whenever I’m in town you could come to my hotel and we spend a few nights together.”
“Sounds tempting.” She pressed her lips into his kiss.
“Do you really have to work today?” running his fingers down her back, he cupped the cheeks of her butt, squeezing them.
She nodded and shoved him away. “I have to.” Patting his cheek, she smiled up at him. “You wanna walk me?”
“I could give you a lift.” He pointed ahead. “I parked a few streets ahead because of your loving man.” Grinning he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Come on, let’s go.”
It was only about ten minutes to the hospital by car and Elena made Riku stop the huge Porsche Cayenne in a small street close to the back entrance. “Goodness, your car is so unobtrusive! Why don’t you get yourself a tank?”
He blushed and laughed. “Well, I wanted that one! You’d be riding in a tank right now if the little boy inside of me had wanted one!” leaning over he kissed her lips. “Come on, kiss me goodbye.” He whispered, loosening his seatbelt to move closer.
“What if anyone sees us?” she whispered back, running her fingers through his hair.
“Well, I don’t care actually.” Smiling he slipped his arms around her waist, kissing her passionately. “Will I see you tonight?”
“Pick me up at six, I’ll be waiting here.” She returned his hungry kisses. “How long will you be in town?”
“Another two weeks.” He smiled. “Plenty of time, don’t you think?”
She pulled a face, leaning in to meet his lips again. “Not really, actually. Any suggestions: How am I supposed NOT to end up heartbroken because of you?”
A small smile raised the left corner of his mouth. “I promise you won’t, alright? Come on, let me take you out for dinner tonight. No parties, no excessive drinking. You and me. Wherever you wanna go.”
She sighed, resting her forehead on his. “Alright.” She whispered, smiling at him. “I still can’t believe you had a crush on me in high school!”
“Don’t you dare telling people about it!” he raised his index finger, chuckling when she bit down on it playfully. “You hear me?” he asked strictly. “Don’t tell anyone! I’m Riku Rajamaa from Sunrise Avenue! There’s no girl I couldn’t get and I never had a crush on a girl in high school, being too shy and introvert to ask her out!”
“Of course not! You never had a crush on the little bat in your wallet!” giggling Elena cupped his face with her hands, kissing him slowly. “Six o’clock?”
“Six it is.” He whispered, softly running his lips over her neck. “See you, little bat!”
“See you, little nerd!” she winked at him, picking up her bag from the floor. Waving him goodbye she walked along the small gritted path leading over to the entrance door. He waved back, driving off as soon as she had stepped inside.
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