Nicky's POV
I kept asking myself that question over and over again when I was finally
sitting in Samu’s car again and later followed him along a corridor of an old
building with high ceilings and oddly welcoming, open rooms. Before I could
find an answer or even prepare myself for the situation I would be in only
seconds later, we entered one of the rooms. Sunlight hit my eyes and I put my
hand on my forehead, finding someone getting up from a chair and walking in my
direction.
He was almost as tall as Samu but less muscular. His brown hair fell into
his forehead and almost touched the beard he had grown. I recognized him
instantly from the pictures on the internet, even though he had changed a lot. Damn,
he looked knackered!
Samu gave him a hug and said a few sentences in
Finnish. Then he turned to me.
“Nick, this is Riku. Riku, Nick.”
The look on his face had changed. Most probably
Samu had told him who I was.
“Have a seat.” He offered, his voice sounding a
little husky. “What d’you want?” he asked me directly, picking up his guitar.
Without even waiting for my answer he sat down with his back turned towards me,
putting his feet onto the radiator by the window. He even started humming along
with the song he was playing.
I felt like taken for a ride.
Right at this second I knew exactly what I
wanted to know from him. I got up. “Thank you for your time, that was all I
needed.” I replied firmly, taking my coat. “I have no idea what she saw in you.
But I wanted to see the face of the man that is actually capable of leaving a
woman like Lin behind and also abandon his child.”
At an instant he was on his feet and I saw it in
his eyes, he was about to slap me right in the face. “You came all this way to
tell me that and rub into my face that you are banging the mother of my child,
sunny boy?” he asked in a very low voice and I turned around to face him.
“I wanted to look into your eyes and maybe see
what she had seen. Obviously I came unavailingly.” Actually I had no clue what
I was doing there. I was standing in an asylum in front of an in-hospital
patient that was most probably still on drug-withdrawal and one foot taller
than me, and I intentionally made his blood boil and annoyed him far beyond
endurance only because I wanted to see his reaction.
“You, little Miss Sunshine, have no idea what
you are talking about.” He whispered with his teeth gritted and turned away
from me again.
“Then tell me, you cissy.” I responded
combatively (or weary of life maybe?). “Why couldn’t you be a man about this
whole story?”
“This whole story is a lot more than a simple
breakup!” he raised his index finger at me. “Don’t you dare alleging that I
simply chickened out!”
“Well, you left a wonderful woman and a baby
behind for no reason, sounds a lot like chickening out to me.” I was quick to
step back when he suddenly approached, seething with rage.
“You little prick!” he hissed, grabbing my
pullover. “You weren’t there, you didn’t see what I saw! It almost killed her,
I almost killed her!” by now he was yelling and shaking me roughly."I had to cut my own child out of her, imagine that for a second, you tiny big shot! She could have died!"
I clenched my fists, watching him closely. “And
so you decided to leave her? TWICE?”
That was the point where Samu grabbed him
because he literally lunged at me. Yelling at him in Finnish, he dragged Riku
away from me, suddenly standing between us with a stern look on his face.
“Seriously?” he shouted at me. “What the hell d’you think you’re doing?”
“Making him realise what he lost by leaving her.
She’s having nightmares and cries at night because of you.” My voice was only a
whisper and I returned Riku’s stare. “She is trying her best to get over you
because she thinks that you simply left and stopped loving her. I wanted to see
you, you stupid son of a bitch. See you and tell you right into your fucking
face that I will do anything to help her getting over you and be a father for
her son because you are so far up your own arse that you can’t take your God
given responsibility!”
With that I turned on my heels, leaving the room
and soon after also the building. Your turn, scumbag. My legs were trembling.
Without planning it properly, I had come here to wake him up and give him a
piece of my mind. And I had succeeded.
Suddenly Samu was by my side again, giving me a
wary look. It took him 5 minutes and a cigarette to finally say something
again.
“Are you sure that this talk turned out the way
you planned?” he asked, advisedly choosing his words. “You didn’t come here to
simply confront him, did you?” he asked carefully, looking directly into my
eyes and continued without waiting for my answer. “You are either stupid and
impulsive, or the most selfless man in love on this planet.”
He was right, but maybe both of what he had just
said was true.
“This is not something I simply wanna win,
Samu.” I answered lowly, staring down at my hands. “I fell in love with Linnea
the first moment I saw her but…”
“You don’t have to tell me.” He interrupted
softly. “It is just that… Nick, you know that he will most probably right now
pack his suitcase and leave this useless therapy behind, right?”
“I certainly know that.” Sighing about the
serious consequences my few sentences and actions now entailed, I stared into
the white nowhere around us.
“And that he will most probably take a flight to
London to see her?”
“Of course he will.” I fell silent. “You know,
I… I don’t want her to think that her child’s father simply left her behind. I
can’t live with that especially now that I met him and saw with my own eyes
that he still loves her. Maybe… it is her choice, maybe…”
“She will leave you?” Samu finished my sentence
and I nodded slowly.
“Maybe she will.” I agreed almost inaudible.
Keine Kommentare:
Kommentar veröffentlichen