Chapter 5 - Welcome to my Life

Chapter 5

Linnea’s POV

My heart was pounding in a weird way when I saw him sitting at one of the small window tables. He was back. Nicky Byrne was back and Cate wouldn’t stop mocking me for hiding in the kitchen since he had entered the diner. Damn, why was I so nervous all of a sudden? He wasn’t even my type! Throwing another gaze through the small round kitchendoor-window, I started biting my nails. Blond, sunnyboy and this damn perfectly symmetric face with bright blue eyes. Not my type at all! But even so, my body seemed to react to him and after a few minutes I gave up hiding, running my fingers through my hair. Maybe he only wanted some coffee and a breakfast, I tried to tell myself. Surely he had not come back to see me, that was absurd!

“Hey.” The rest of my well planned sentence was caught in my throat when he looked up with his ocean blue eyes, his whole face lighting up in a perfect smile. Damn, even his teeth were too perfect. Not after my fancy at all but nevertheless I felt a stupid big smile spreading over my own facial features.

“Hey.” I repeated, lifting the empty tray. “Anything else for you?”

“Just ordered breakfast from Cate.” His smile became even brighter. “But maybe some cookies first…?” pointing at the counter, he shifted in his seat, looking down at his notepad and back up at me.

“Done.” I had followed his gaze a little curious. “What are you doing?” Suddenly escaped my mouth and I was about to apologize but he only smiled at me.

“I was looking for a job and they want a CV and everything.” Shrugging indifferently he scratched the back of his perfectly shaped head. “There’s not much to tell because of Westlife, d’you maybe have any idea what else I could write?”

“Sure.” I threw a look around, giving Cate the ‘may I have a quick break-sign’ and she nodded immediately with a toothy grin.

Putting the tray aside I sat down next to him to read his notes.

“Hmm… you…” leaning closer I rested my elbow on the table and took a pen. “Maybe you could…” I winced at the sudden nearness and the smell of his freshly showered skin that was unexpectedly close when he bent forward as well.

“I could…?” he turned his head slightly and I felt his warm breath on my face.

“What… what was your … your major task beside dancing and singing?” Pulling myself together I made a quick note. “Was there anything you took care off for the band?”

“Like what?” busily he played around with the zipper of his pullover.

“Like, dunno, the finances, did you take care of the booking of gigs, did you do anything concerning organization, marketing, stuff like that?”

He had spent my whole shift working on his job application and I couldn’t help smiling. I knew that he was a grown man of 34 but somehow he seemed far away from reality and almost like a child. Still smiling I leaned over his shoulder. “And?”

He looked up at me. “Looks good.” Proudly he pointed at the screen. “I think I will hand it in this afternoon.”

I read through the last paragraph he was working on, pointing at a spelling mistake before I patted his back. “Good job!” I complimented on his work, suddenly feeling ridiculous. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound snotty!”

“You didn’t.” He assured quickly and gave me a smile. “Your shift is over, right?” closing the laptop he got up. “I could walk you home if you like?”

I didn’t know what to say at first. “But I gotta go to the store and buy some groceries.”

“I’ll help you carry them.” He offered quickly, shouldering his backpack.

“Alright.” Hesitantly I returned his smile, feeling a rush of blood in my cheeks. Damn! I was a mature and experienced woman, how could he make me blush like a 12 year old by only offering to walk me home? Quickly I turned around, heading into the backrooms to grab my jacket and purse.

In an unexpected way we got along really well. He carried my groceries even though I had asked him to give one of the bags to me, and he was cracking so many jokes that I almost forgot to breath. Without even thinking about it, I asked him in for dinner but he only followed me to keep carrying my stuff for me, putting in down on the corridor of Jon’s flat. “Very well then.” He smiled broadly. “I’d better get going, my new job is waiting for me.”

“Good luck!” I softly jabbed him in the ribs. “Come by and tell me about the interview, alright?”

He nodded. “Will do.” Pulling the zipper of his pullover up, he stepped back. “What d’you say, we could go out on Friday and have dinner together.”

“Tomorrow’s Friday.” I bit my tongue. Damn, he had asked me out and I was stupid enough to be stupid. Be me. Damn.

He grinned at me but there was something else I saw in his eyes. Was he really nervous and almost worried about me saying “no”?

“Sure.” I tried to sound confident. “Any suggestions?”

“Well, we…” he fell silent. “I know this nice place down at Marble Square. Italian food. I really wanna take you there.”

“Valentino’s.” I nodded, completely electrified. “Supposed to be great!”

“Around 8?”

“8 it is.” I gave my best to force my lips to curve into a smile.

“I really wanna thank you and Jon for your help the other day. I could have died out there and you guys… well…” he shrugged diffidently. “I wanna thank you and… Jon and… well, make it up to you.”

“There is still no need, but right now I am completely starved and you are talking about Italian food that doesn’t make it any easier to be honest.”

He laughed along with me, taking another step back. “Alright, so… well, say hello to Jon, I’ll see you on Friday. Tomorrow.” Again he laughed. A beautiful and heart-warming sound that made my smile grow wider.

“See you!” I closed the door behind him, leaning against it to regain my breath. Puh! It was far too soon to go out with someone after everything I had been through during the last months but… well, it was Nicky Byrne, maybe Brad Pit was even farther out of my league, but Nicky was close behind.

Suddenly I realised something: He wanted to thank me… Me… hum… nervously I started biting my nails again. I hated the English word “you”. You, that could be me. And it could be me and Jon, you, plural. He had been talking about me AND Jon all the time. Had he now invited ME or US? Fucking damn stupid language! How I missed my German and Swedish and even Finnish now!

Picking the bags up from the floor I kicked my shoes away. “Hun?” I yelled over into the living room where I heard Jon playing with Jannis. “Can you translate some “you’s” for me?”

Jon had been 100% sure that all the “you’s” had actually been singular and so I let Cate drop me off at the restaurant at ten past 8. Actually we had been waiting a few streets ahead because she had told me that I was the princess and everybody had to wait for the princess. Something like that… I guess… It had been funny then.

But only a few seconds later I was slowly making my way through the entrée of the fancy Italian restaurant in a borrowed blue dress (perfectly fitting, Jon had assured me), a matching blue bag in my ice cold hands.

“Miss?” the brightly painted young woman behind the front desk looked me up and down.

“A friend of mine is waiting for me.” I squared my shoulders. “The name is Byrne.”

Her kohl-eyebrows jumped for a split second and she looked me over again. Thank you for showing every emotion on your face, sweetheart!

“Can we please accelerate the proceedings, I am a little late.” I tried to sound self-confident and very, very arrogant.

Again the facial expression of the red-white-green skin (red lips, white foundation, shining green eye-shadow) changed. “Of course.” Suddenly her pace sped up. “Please follow me. You are expected.”

I smiled sweetly. “Thank you.” I purred, following her through the restaurant.

He had seen me from afar, getting up immediately, adjusting his tie. Wow, a tie! He looked damn good in his légère grey suit and I was again thankful for Cate’s offer to borrow me a “real” dress.

Smiling he gave me a hug. “Wow, you look amazing!” shoving me away softly, he let his gaze travel over me again. “Did you really have a baby only some months ago?”

I couldn’t help giggling nervously. “It is borrowed.” I blurted out. “The dress, not the baby.” Feeling my cheeks turn purple I wished for the floor to open and swallow me but Nicky only laughed even harder, showing me to my seat, pulling it out for me.

“I thought so.” He said, sitting down opposite of me. “Where did you leave the rest of you?”

Again I flushed. “Damn.” I put my bag on the table, covering my pink face. “So “you” was indeed you, meaning all of us, right?” looking around me, I counted three place settings and a baby’s highchair.

Suddenly I felt his hands on mine, slowly pulling them down.

“I am so glad you got me wrong!” he grinned meekly. “I… honestly, I wanted to invite you and only you but my mouth somehow disconnected from my brain and I started talking and talking… and when I got home I almost bit my own arse because I knew that I had invited your whole family instead of asking you for a date.”

Still my hands were in his and somehow it felt very, very good. I tried to brace myself.

“So right now everybody is happy, right?” I grinned at him, nodding at the menu. “We should have a drink, what d’you say?”

He seemed surprised. “You can drink?”

“Of course!” I squeezed his fingers. “I spent two hours pumping milk, I almost felt like a high efficiency cow! I will drink and have a date tonight.”

Letting go of one of my hands, he waved for the waiter. “Champagne.” He simply said, smiling at me.

The dinner was great and my pasta turned out to be exquisite. And so was the wine we shared. Dark, heavy and red. We had ordered desert when Nicky suddenly changed the topic. We had been talking about everything and nothing, tipsily laughing along with each other. All of a sudden he seemed to become a little more serious, bending forward in my direction.

“So, how long have you two been together?”

I had put my glass on my lips, lowering it astound. “Together?” I asked surprised.   

“You and Jon.” He helpfully gave my memories a little nudge, making me burst into laughter.

“Me and JON?” I giggled, putting my hand over my lips.

He looked at me confused. “You… you are not…?”

“Nooo!” again I felt giggling-bubbles in my stomach. Damn wine! I had not been drinking for almost one and a half years, of course I was drunk within the twinkle of an eye!

“Jon’s my friend.”

“But… the baby!” Nicky looked really stupid when he was baffled and the bubbles burst out. I threw my head back, laughing.

“Not his.” I chuckled, trying to pull myself together. The topic wasn’t funny! Well, right now it really was. With a lot wine swirling in my mind, tickling my senses and damping down all the bad feelings.

“Jon is my friend.” I tried to sound reasonable. “We have been friends for many years and I moved in with him two months ago with Jannis.”

“Wow, I… alright, so… but Jannis’ father, he…”

“Not in our lives anymore.”

“What happened?” he persisted, refilling my glass but I stopped when the glass was only half full.

“Slowly!” I said, feeling my voice shaking all of a sudden. Damn. Wine, hormones and memories. Right at that second I hated being a woman.

“So…?” he tried again, cocking his head.

Sighing I gave in, leaning back with my glass in my hands. “You know that I am from Sweden.” I started gradually to gather myself. He nodded, his eyes never leaving mine.

“And for my studies I had moved to Helsinki for a few years.”

“Studies?” the word obviously pricked his ears up and I smiled weakly.

“Studies.” I repeated. “They have a great school for economics and business administration. A Swedish one. I lived there for almost four years and earned my degree.” Looking up from my glass I managed to grin. “What? Did you think that being a waitress was my favourite job in the world and I knew nothing else?”

He blushed a little, obviously I had hit on the point. “So you are actually…?”

“Well, the correct title would be Masters of Economics and Business Administration.”

Cocking his head again, he took my hand, playing around with my fingers.

“Madame, I completely underestimated you!”

I snorted. “Well…” I drawled, sipping my wine again. “It’s not a big deal!”

“What happened then?”

“Then…” I took a deep breath before I picked up where I had left off. “Jannis’ father, he… well, he is from Finland and we… we met and… well, it is a long story.”

“Tell me about it!” he insisted but I slowly shook my head.

“You don’t wanna hear all that! And I don’t wanna talk about it either!”

“Maybe it would help you.” He insisted again, softly squeezing my fingers. “So? Your Finnish sweetheart?”

Again it took me a few deep breaths to start talking. “Actually he is the reason why I never ever wanted to date a member of a band again.” I gave Nicky an ironical smile.

He nodded slowly and I saw that it was working in his perfectly shaped face. “So you had an affair and he… he literally knocked you up and… and ran off??”

“What?” a little irritated I looked at him. “No, it was more than that.” I sighed. “Damn, Nicky, d’you really wanna hear all that?”

“I asked about it! Who is he?” his grip around my fingers tightened. “Come on, tell me!”

“He is a guitarist of a band.” Staring down at our hands, I shook my head. “This sounds so stupid!”

“It doesn’t!” he assured. “Spill it!”

Weakly I giggled. “I was at a concert with a friend. In Helsinki. And they… they had this supporting act. Somewhere during the concert I realised that I knew one of them… We… we had been in school together back in Stockholm and so me and Jenna, my friend, waited for them after their gig. They weren’t famous and we knew that everybody would be waiting for the main act instead of leaving the concert hall and wait on the corridor.” I shrugged and couldn’t help smiling. “Karl indeed recognized me and we made plans to meet up after the concert and have some drinks.”

“Karl.” Nicky repeated. “So his name is Karl?”

“Karl-Ola.”

He burst into laughter. “Your poor child’s father’s name is Karl-Ola, you are kidding, right? OLA?”

I laughed along with him and shook my head. “It is not, I told you, it is a long story!”

“Then go on!” again he refilled our glasses but this time I didn’t stop him.

“Well…” I took a deep swing. “We went to a bar later that night and there I met Jannis’ father.”

Again Nicky looked at me confused. “But you said he was a guitarist.”

“He is. The guitarist of the main act. We just met and… pow!” I helplessly gestured with my free hand. “Pow.”

“Pow?”

“Yes, pow.” I sighed.

“Jannis must look a lot like him.” He suddenly stated, making me look up again.

“What d’you mean?”

“Well, he doesn’t look like you at all. Messy hair, big nose.” He grinned. “Does his daddy look like that?”

I chuckled dryly. “Well, kind of.”

“And what happened after the first pow?”

“Later that night, I took him home and… well…” taking another deep swing from my glass I averted my face. “You know.”

“You made a baby, I know.”

“Nicky!” I slapped his arm, still unable to look into his eyes. “I wanna say “you have no idea how hard it is to find your soul mate in a member of a band”, but I guess you know exactly how it feels.” Eventually I looked up again. “Only the other way around, right?”