Chapter 9
Linnea’s POV
“Damn, Lin!” Jon shook his head, bending over the table where we had been
sitting, having a quick coffee before heading off to the diner. “Where did you
lose it? D’you remember where you saw it the last time?”
“I don’t know!” nervously pacing up and down the living room I started
biting my nails. My purse lay on the floor, my backpack as well, their contents
randomly distributed across the room. “I only remember putting it in my jacket
after opening the door of the apartment!” turning all the pockets of my winter
jacket inside out again, I shrugged helplessly. Damn, fuck, shit! Where had I lost my damn keys?
“Maybe I should call Nicky.” Suddenly came to my mind and I grabbed my
phone from the floor. “His jacket was hanging right next to mine, maybe I put
it in the wrong pocket!”
Jon only rolled his eyes but I wasn’t willing to give up, quickly dialling
Nicky’s cell phone.
He didn’t answer, most probably he was still deep asleep. Well, who
wouldn’t be at five in the morning? I hung up, sending a text message to
explain to him that I had most probably confused our jackets and that I was
looking for my keys.
Sighing I started to put all my stuff back into my bags before I got up
from the floor. “I’ll find them!” I promised again, running over into Jannis’
room when I heard him cry.
My day had started off bad and it didn’t get any better. Cate called in
sick and I had to take a double shift. Nicky wasn’t answering his phone the
whole morning and I didn’t know how to handle the baby and the diner. It was
nine when he finally called me back, making up some really weird excuses and
telling me that he had to take a flight to Dublin that same day to visit a
friend that wasn’t doing well. Inwardly I almost exploded, but I tried to stay
calm.
“Can you maybe take a flight tonight?” I asked frustrated, running around
behind the counter because the coffee-machine didn’t work properly and I was
about to smash that damn thing to pieces.
He sounded reserved. “Well, maybe I could try to change my flight.” He
offered reluctantly, almost making me yell at him and give him a good speech.
“Thank you.” I swallowed down the rest of my sentence and continued a
little softer. “Cate is sick, I lost my keys, and I have no idea how to pick up
Jannis at four because I have to work the afternoon as well.”
“No problem. Just a sec.” I heard him typing. “There is a flight tonight…
at 8. Is that alright for you?”
“Sure! Thank you so much!” Out of breath and finally succeeding in
preparing espresso again, I even smiled. “So I’ll see you this afternoon,
right?”
“See you then. I gotta go!”
With that he hung up. Hum… he seemed distracted, maybe his friend was sick
or even worse. Suddenly I felt sorry for occupying him so much. He didn’t owe
me anything, Jannis wasn’t even his child! Well, but he would be if we stayed
together. And he had never complained about helping me out with the baby. Even
so, the bad feeling in my guts wouldn’t disappear for hours and it increased
when he finally arrived at the bar at half past four. He seemed absent minded,
even reserved. Most probably he took the events of the last afternoon a lot
harder than I had expected and I couldn’t even be mad at him about it. It had
taken all my strength to talk to Jon about the whole heartbreak that I had
experienced only a few months ago and I simply didn’t have the power to re-open
the case in front of Nicky, at least for a while. Most probably he wouldn’t
leave me because of it, but I wanted to find the right words and maybe also
wait a little longer because I didn’t want to give him the feeling that I
wasn’t over Riku.
Well, obviously I wasn’t but I didn’t want him to know that it still got so
close to me to even talk about him. I had left the country to make sure that I
would manage to finally close the subject ‘happily ever after’ with the father
of my child. Maybe it would take some time, but I would one day be able to look
at Jannis and only smile because I saw my son, not the man that had left me and
that had unintentionally broken my heart and even taken the pieces with him, to
wherever he was now. One day. Maybe I would one day have another child.
Hopefully a girl with blue eyes, just like Nicky’s.
I couldn’t help smiling broadly at him when he took off his jacket and the opened
the baby sling to put Jannis down on the floor. The little boy was quick to get
on all fours, squealing and making his way over to the counter. I picked him
up, my free hand reaching out towards Nicky. “Thank you so much!” I whispered,
pressing my lips into his soft kiss. “D’you want coffee?” carefully my fingers
ran over his cheek before I pulled him in for another kiss. Offence is the best
defence, right? And I needed to make sure that he knew how much he meant to me,
even though I still wasn’t able to go the whole way.
He stepped back, suddenly there was a brief flicker of a smile on his face
but he cocked his eyebrows in surprise. “Coffee would be great.” He said close
to my ear, his husky voice causing goose bumps all over my back.
Shifting my face a little, I kissed his neck. “Coffee it is.” I whispered
with a smile.
He followed me behind the counter, taking Jannis up on his arm. “I’m really
sorry that I have to leave so suddenly!” he stated, nodding at his jacket,
changing the subject within the twinkle of an eye. “I found your keys, they
actually were in my jacket, where d’you want me to put them?”
“Thank God!” I gave him a tight hug, exhaling in relief. “Damn, I am so
stupid sometimes!”
“Well…” he smiled, softly rocking Jannis. “It wasn’t your fault, it was a
mix up, nothing more!”
“I have to be more careful!” I insisted, putting hot milk into his cup to
hand the coffee over to him. “During the last months, I… well, since Jannis was
born, I didn’t get much sleep and all the work for the diner, it is a lot for
my body and brain to be honest!”
“You are quite used to burning the midnight oil, aren’t ya?”
“Well, actually I have been like that all my life, but most of the time I
didn’t have a job that forced me out of bed in the middle of the night!”
shrugging a little discontent, I sipped my own coffee. “And, since that damn
little cutie on your arm won’t stop making demands on breast milk, I won’t be
able to drink more coffee to help my brains work a little better and faster!”
Nicky grinned, his gaze running down a few inches from my eyes.
I broke into laughter. “Are you now seriously staring at my boobs?”
He laughed along with me. “They are great! Can you blame me?”
“I won’t!” softly I patted his chest, leaning in for another kiss. “You
should have seen them a few years ago, all firm and stout!”
I knew it the second the words came out of my mouth: He wouldn’t take that
joke easily. We had not talked about yesterday, the call, its results and
consequences for us. We had not talked about my past, Riku, my feelings. Damn,
I was bad with relationships!
“Come on, let’s sit for a bit.” I said quickly, beckoning him over. “How is
your friend doing?”
Luckily the diner was almost empty but I knew that it would soon be filled
with commuters on their way back home from work. Maybe we had a few minutes
until then.
“He’s not so well.” Nicky answered, staring down in his coffee.
“What happened?” I asked concerned, putting my hand on his arm.
“He… well, he… he lost someone and I was told that he is right now under
medical treatment, sad story.” Still staring into his cup, Nicky shrugged.
“Maybe I can talk to him.” He flashed a gaze at me. “I really want to
understand him and give him the chance to have someone to talk to.” Suddenly
his eyes were almost locked with mine. “Maybe I can solve this.”
“Only a true friend would try that.” I affirmed, smiling at him. “D’you
still have time? Tess will be here early, I asked her to come at five, maybe we
could then grab a bite and leave? You surely need help packing, don’t you?”
giving him another smile I got up, but he grabbed my hand.
“Maybe I should…” he started, suddenly changing his mind, nodding.
“Thanks.” He simply said, but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
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